by Patrick Souiljaert in 

We did it
On 5th July 2017 we successfully raised £415 with 23 supporters in 70 days

Sell 1,000 pre-orders of my new book, 'Screw it I'll take the elevator', to cover the costs of self-publishing and printin it.

by Patrick Souiljaert in

 Another tough day at UK Patrick Limited, out & about in Shoreham... ;-))


Watch this space and follow me to find out more as we plan the exciting upcoming International Men's Day to be held and hosted at The Shoreham Center on the 17th November!

Thank you Michele Pape for a most successful meeting and inviting me to be your key speaker for the evening, I feel humbled and privileged for being afforded the opportunity to represent the Shoreham Center who always does so much for our community and at such a key annual event.

I look forward to us working together on this important project and keep up all your wonderful work, you are a true inspiration and an invaluable asset to our community!

You can pre-order your copy of  ‘Screw it, I'll Take The Elevator’ NOW!

Shoreham Herald People News - 9th May 2017 -

Please read the recent write-up in the Shoreham Herald and my latest 15 minutes of fame :) Thank you again Elaine Hammond for a great article!

16th May 2017 - Some Tuesday food thought..... Enjoy and to pre-order your copy, go to:

Over the years, I visualised my mortgage as if it were an iceberg surrounded by other icebergs of different sizes, melting at different speeds in the Antarctic.

If left to melt away on its own it would take 25 years. However, chipping away at it means it will disintegrate a lot faster.

I would like to apologise to Greenpeace because I feel, by paying off my mortgage so quickly, I have contributed to rising sea levels... :)

11th May 2017 - More extracts from, 'Screw it, I'll take the elevator', Enjoy and to pre-order your copy, go to:

1. Another excellent contributor on the sports show was Phil’s school friend Andy Lutwyche. In addition to being a secondary school maths teacher, Andy played for Worthing FC and Worthing Cricket Club at the weekends. Phil chatted live on-air with Andy after his games. As two witty people, the pair were easy on the ear.

Andy is naturally funny. He would say to me “Do you know anything about sport yet? I don’t know how you can produce a sports show when you clearly don’t know anything about sport!”

To which I replied “Do you know anything about binary yet? I don’t know how you can be Head of Maths when you clearly don’t know anything about binary!”

2. Someone I regularly spoke to on Saturdays was Jennifer, one of the journalists at Splash who used to do the Saturday morning news shift. Being a conscientious worker, Jennifer often worked in the afternoon writing and preparing things for the following week.

One weekend the air-conditioning in the studios broke down. Phil was ok as he had a temporary fan in the main studio. However it was so hot and stuffy in the news booth that I took off my jumper and t-shirt. At football half-time I went into the office to get some fresh air.

As I opened the door and stepped into the office, Jennifer glanced up at me and from where she was sitting half obscured by a desk, she thought I was completely naked! It gave her a shock and it was a first as I’ve never had that effect on someone before!

I’ve always thought there was an air of mystery surrounding Jennifer because she never revealed much about herself. All I really know about her is that she’s got a long term boyfriend, likes cheese and is into collecting handbags.

For all I know, Jennifer could also be into swinging and Tupperware parties.

Now as you know, I’m not someone who likes being put in a box but it’s got me wondering - is a swinging and Tupperware party where people are put in a box?

I’ll ask Jennifer...?!?

8th May 2017 - Fourth extract from, 'Screw it, I'll take the elevator', Enjoy and to pre-order your copy, go to:

After moving into my flat I wasted no time in becoming known in the on-site bar. There I met my friend Steve Bell and became friends with his wife Jill and daughter Tammy.

Steve is a generation older than me and unlike me, he’s an artistic person. He used to be a secondary school art teacher and has always played a variety of musical instruments. The reason Steve and I get on so well is because we are both people persons and share the same values and sense of humour.

Neither of us will forget the time we went to a party at someone’s house. I was in the back garden when a woman, ten to fifteen years older than me, approached me and asked:

Lady: “What do you do?”

Me: “I’m a computer programmer and I work for Shh.”

Lady [looking perplexed]: “no…really, what is it that you do?”

Me: “I really am a computer programmer - and I do work for Shh.”

Lady [still unconvinced]: “no, honestly, what is it that you do?”

Me [becoming bored] “What can I say? I am a computer programmer…”

At which point Steve walks by.

Me: “Steve, help me out here. This lady doesn’t believe me that I’m a computer programmer and that I work for Shh.”

Steve [without hesitating]: “No, he works at the post office, licking stamps…”

Steve [pausing for a second] “…and on Sundays he works at the supermarket, stacking shelves. But he only stacks the middle shelves because he can’t reach the top or bottom shelves.”

Lady [smiling, as she pinched my cheek]: “Ahh, I knew it.” [then she walked away]

Obviously, I didn’t know Steve was going say what he said. It was absolutely hilarious!

5th May 2017 - Third extract from, 'Screw it, I'll take the elevator', Enjoy and to pre-order your copy, go to:

Teaching myself VB had served me well but there were still things that I wasn’t familiar with. I felt under so much pressure to succeed at the brigade so VB functions, which I would have found easy to look up at home, were far more difficult to unlock at work. I was probably too reliant on Edward for help at the beginning.

Six mini cans of Guinness had been left in my car by someone after I had helped them with their computer. One morning in the first month when I got to work, I was feeling so sick with nerves that I decided to have a few sips of Guinness, just to take the edge off.

Sitting in my car in the little compound at work, I opened one of the mini cans and took a little sip. Not having tasted Guinness before or being a morning alcohol drinker, I just vomited it straight back up and made a dark brown circular mark on the top right side of my blue shirt.

I couldn’t believe what I had done. There was no way I could go into the office with my shirt like that. I didn’t have another shirt in the car. It was past nine o’clock and I lived thirty-five minutes away.  I thought ‘Sh*t, what do I do?’ I put my jacket on and zipped it up, so that only the top of my collar and tie were visible.

 Despite feeling a little hot and with Bill and Edward bemused as to why I sat in the office all day with my jacket done up, I got away with it. Needless to say, my career as a would-be morning alcoholic started and ended that day...

Second extract from, 'Screw it, I'll take the elevator', Enjoy and to pre-order your copy, go to:

"When I met Amanda for the first time I discovered she was a voluptuous lady and quite a bit taller than me. Physically, I felt like a midget compared to her. However, being of a similar age and intellectual status, we connected straight away.

After our meeting about the work needed on Login Manager, where we spent most of the time laughing and joking, Amanda said the second best thing anyone has ever said to me.

It was a large building and it was quite a long walk to my car and aware that I had my laptop in my rucksack to carry, Amanda asked “Would you like me to give you a piggyback back to your car?”

 It made me laugh out loud before saying, “Thank you for offering but I’ll be alright.” In hindsight I wish I had replied “Yes please” to see what she would had done...?!?"

3rd May 2017 - First extract of, "Screw  it, I'l take the elevator", Enjoy and pre-order your copy now!!

On my way to meet Stuart, turning off Brighton seafront into the road which leads to the side of Churchill Square, my car stalled.  After restarting my car, I went a few hundred yards up the hill, past the shopping centre’s multi-storey car park, before my car stalled again. More accurately, the car conked out! The engine wouldn’t restart and smoke started to escape from under the bonnet and drift upwards, ominously.... To read more, go to

2nd May 2017 - On Friday I went to William Earl's & Liz Coward’s book Launch. Blood and Bandages is about William’s time as a medical officer in World War II. A very inspirational book about love and war and a must read...

Welcome to my CrowdFunder page!

I am the author of ‘Stairs for Breakfast’ and after the feedback I’ve received, I am now publishing my second book, ‘Screw it I’ll take the elevator’, for which I require funding to publish it.

Check out the reviews here

I’ve had an amazing journey over the last seven years which includes writing two books on how to overcome adversity and have fun in life

My mission is to inspire and add value to other people’s lives whist reaching my full potential as someone who lives with Cerebral Palsy. My books have given me a platform as a public speaker. I often say to people “Do something you love and that adds value to people’s lives. What knowledge do you possess that you can share to benefit others?”

My goal for this project is to sell 1,000 books (as it will assist with the publishing and printing costs of my second book).

Having created my own limited company, my business plan states I will self-publish my second book and generate a turnover of £15,000 in the first year.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress!

Here's my first book


This project offers rewards in return for your donation

£5 or more

£5 Reward

If you live outside the UK please add £5 to your order (for postage)

£15 or more

£15 Reward

Paperback copy of ‘Screw It, I’ll Take The Elevator’

£15 or more

£15 Reward

Paperback copy of ‘Stairs For Breakfast’

£25 or more

£25 Reward

Paperback copy of ‘Stairs For Breakfast’ & ‘Screw It, I’ll Take The Elevator’

£30 or more

£30 Reward

Signed copy of ‘Stairs For Breakfast’ & ‘Screw It, I’ll Take The Elevator’

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