Tony Parkes - Blackburn Rovers legend - care fund

Aim

This fundraiser is to support Natalie Parkes Thompson, daughter of Tony, with the ongoing costs of Tony's care in residential care.

Tony Parkes - The Legend

The word legend is often overused in the footballing world but in the case of Tony Parkes the term legend perfectly describes the status he holds in the eyes of many Blackburn Rovers supporters - if not all.

Tony dedicated his life to Rovers as a player, coach and manager.  Starring in the midfield he made over 300 appearances for the club before hanging up his boots in 1982.  He made the seamless transfer to the back room supporting Bobby Saxton.  Tony became Assistant Manager to Don Mackay supporting him as the club pushed for promotion to the First Division.  However, Tony's real success came as part of the trio along with Sir Kenny Dalglish and Ray Harford as they guided the club to promotion into the Premier League before reaching the pinnacle in 1995 where they lifted the Premier League trophy.

Tony is also famously known as probably the most successful caretaker manager, stepping in on numerous occasions to take the reins and guide the club whilst it searched for its next manager.

After leaving Rovers, Tony continued his role at Blackpool FC supporting Simon Grayson as they were promoted to the Championship.  Shortly after Tony retired from football to look after his poorly wife.

Speaking to his daughter Natalie, she takes up the story.....

Dad was assistant manager at Blackpool when my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It quickly became apparent that I couldn’t care for my mum and hold down a full time teaching job without help, so dad retired. A couple of months later I got married and had a hospice blessing as mum wasn’t well enough to attend. We lost my mum 2 months after my wedding and dad never truly recovered. It was her dying wish for me not to leave my dad alone and the guilt eats me up that I have had to put him into a care home.

Following mums death, Dad slowly started to withdraw from everything even football. He returned to Rovers briefly as a scout and filled his days with walking and golf but rarely wanted to meet any of his friends. Initially it was grief, but in December 2017 I noticed other changes like forgetting his words and not wanting to go out as much. Dad was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in November 2019.

The decline was rapid and soon I couldn’t go anywhere without taking my dad with me as he was scared to be alone. He stopped recognising his own reflection and stopped sleeping. We all lived together (including my husband and then 2 year old daughter). In October 2020 I gave up my job to be his carer.

In November 2020 we found a group called Sporting Memories in Leyland which became a lifeline as the volunteers began to take dad out to give me a break.

At first it was ok but soon the caring roll soon took it’s toll especially alongside caring for a 2 year old.

Then I found out I was pregnant again and lockdown hit! The isolation had a devastating effect on dad. His speech declined, he was sad, anxious, I couldn’t leave a room without him following me and he started trying to escape, waking me up at all hours by banging and at one point he convinced our neighbour to break down the door as he couldn’t wake me up ( I was asleep and he had climbed out of a window).

Once my second daughter was born in September 2020 I was faced with an impossible choice.I couldn’t give everybody what they needed and keep them all safe, so dad went into a residential setting. It broke my heart but looking back it was the right decision. However, it was 8 months before I got to see him again due to the pandemic.

The full time caring role has now been swapped with the guilt and financial worry of how we will be able to fund his care long term. It’s currently just under £4000 a month with a 12% increase planned from March.

Dad isn’t effected by any of this now. His Alzheimer’s protects him from the worry and fear but it’s me who loses him over and over again. Dad is currently in his seventh lockdown and every time they reopen he has deteriorated further. He doesn’t respond well to window visits and phone calls are impossible now, so I just wait and hope he doesn’t think I have just abandoned him.

We try and make the most of the time we spend together as it’s nice being his daughter rather than his carer but even that is a logistical nightmare as his mobility is declining now and we always need access to a toilet. However, he loves going out, going to the football, painting, singing and seeing his grandchildren.

He doesn’t remember my mum and I am not sure he actually understands what daughter means but he still knows me and that is something that I am forever grateful for.

Ewood is his happy place. It always has been. It’s the place that gives me a glimmer of the dad I grew up with. It makes him smile. His memories are there.


Life is hard and I am tired. Alzheimer’s doesn’t get any better and right now the future looks pretty bleak if I think about it for too long. Dad worked all his life to provide a better future for me and my family but by the end there will be absolutely nothing left.

 The Outlook

The outlook isn't great for Tony or Natalie.  Spiralling costs of Tony's continued care has taken its toll on the family.  Tony is finally receiving the care he needs and it would be tragic to take him out of a place he is finally settled.  However, the family have nothing left.  Savings are all gone.  All that is left is the family home, in which Natalie and her family live. I hope the Rovers family and the wider football community can come together to support Natalie and Tony to ensure Tony gets the care he needs but also that Natalie and her family can begin to enjoy what time is left with her dad without the financial worry hanging over her.

Thank you.

This project successfully funded on 27th February 2022