The Good Goodbye Project

Aim: Creating social change in the way people approach death, demystifying funeral care and making every farewell authentic to the life lived.

We know how hard it can be to negotiate the death of a loved one. At a time when you are lost, there are so many decisions to be made, and it can feel like the spotlight is on you at your lowest ebb. Making choices can be overwhelming, and it is easy to agree to things that don’t feel quite right within a predetermined, traditional package or structure.

We want to change this, and so are asking for your help with the Good Goodbye Project. Our vision is to produce a practical, compassionate guide to death, farewells and what comes next, a book to gently support people through goodbyes, with clarity and care. We want to create opportunities to share this, particularly with under-represented communities, and spark conversations about what we want when we die.

We are a female-led funeral service, based in Derbyshire. As part of a growing network of women challenging the norms of a traditionally male-dominated industry, we believe grief should never be treated as a transaction. We want to empower people to make their own expressive choices about death and farewells, rather than leaving their families constrained to rigid packages that don’t represent the life that has been lived.

To achieve this, we want to produce a document, available to all and suitable for use in hospitals, hospices, therapeutic work and community spaces. We want to show people there is another way, to open conversations, to guide them through the most difficult of times, and to inspire them to make choices that are personal to them, however atypical.

Funerals shouldn’t feel like something to simply get through. We believe they are always opportunities for authenticity, creativity and connection, shaped around the values of each individual and family. We want to give people informed choices, nurturing them through difficult moments and making space for meaning at the end of life.

For When The Time Comes will be a practical, myth-busting, warm-hearted guide for anyone facing death, now or in the future. Whether you’re caring for someone, arranging a funeral or simply planning ahead, the book will offer guidance, reassurance and support every step of the way.

We know how important this is, and research shows that involving families in end-of-life planning deepens connection and supports healthy grieving. Even just naming the emotions we experience before a loss and talking about anticipatory grief helps us face death together, with more peace and less fear. The evidence is there – now we want to put it into practice.

The book will include:

- What really happens when someone dies — a gentle guide to what’s required, what isn’t and where to begin

- The full range of choices — from coffins and celebrants to venues and values

- Sustainable farewells — how to create an eco-conscious send-off that honours both person and planet

- Involving loved ones — with ideas such as weaving, floristry and co-creating ceremonies

- Real-life stories — moving, creative, and deeply personal examples of meaningful goodbyes

- Life after the funeral — grief support, ashes, memorial ideas and practical follow-up

- Planning ahead — how to talk about your own wishes and make thoughtful preparations for the future

- Signposting to trusted partners - grief networks, ethical providers and community-specific organisations

But this project is more than just a book — it’s the beginning of a movement. We want to take our philosophy out into the world, to markets, libraries, festivals and community spaces. With books, conversation prompts and creative tools, we’ll invite people to talk openly about death and dying — and in doing so, talk about life.

Because when we talk about death, we reduce fear. When we feel informed, we feel less alone.

We’re raising £1,625 to professionally publish For When The Time Comes, covering editing, design, printing and distribution. Your support will also help us to take our mission into the community, host conversations in public spaces and offer resources to aid these discussions and make them more meaningful. If we exceed our goal, we’ll print extra copies to donate to hospices, care homes and hospitals, and expand our outreach to communities across the UK.

Because everyone deserves a good goodbye.

Because no one should feel lost when the time comes.

And because we all deserve a safe, honest space to talk about what matters most.

So far, we have taken our mission out onto the streets, visiting markets and community venues to get people talking about dying without the fear. We have produced a booklet to record practical details, such as burial or cremation preference, passwords and bank and utility information, called For When I’m Gone, which will eventually partner For When The Time Comes. We have facilitated groups sessions for Dying Matters Week in willow weaving, flower arranging and shroud printing, and have introduced our families to celebrants, estate planners, grief counsellors and coffin makers at Meet The Professionals events. We will soon be hosting a Journaling For Wellbeing workshops, and are holding regular Death Cafes!

We really value your support, thank you for helping to change the dialogue around dying. It’s time to make it honest, kind and inclusive.

References

Castle, J & Phillips, WL (2003). Grief rituals: Aspects that facilitate adjustment to bereavement. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 8(1), 41–71.

Rogalla, KB (2018). Anticipatory grief, proactive coping, social support, and growth: Exploring positive experiences of preparing for loss. OMEGA - Journal of Death and Dying, 81(1).

Saputra, R, Setyorini, Rasmanah, M, Nuraida, Suryati and Lidyawati, Y (2024). Strengthening family bonds through end-of-life conversations: Understanding the importance of emotional support and open communication. Palliative & Supportive Care, 22(6), 2249 – 2250.

Kim, Y & Kim, DH (2024). Interventions for family involvement enhance end-of-life care for hospitalized patients: an integrative review. BMC Nursing, 23, article 917.

García-Navarro, EB, Garcia-Navarro, S and Cáceres-Titos, MJ (2023). How to manage the suffering of the patient and the family in the final stage of life: A qualitative study. Nursing Reports 13(4), 1706–1720.

Smith, MA, Brøchner, AC, Nedergaard, HK, et al. (2023) “Gives peace of mind” – Relatives’ perspectives of end-of-life conversations. Palliative and Supportive Care 22(1), 1–8.

Rawlings, D, Devery, K and Poole, N (2019). Improving quality in hospital end-of-life care: Honest communication, compassion and empathy. BMJ Open Quality 8(2), 5–8.

Majid, U & Akande, A (2021). Managing anticipatory grief in family and partners: A systematic review and qualitative meta-synthesis. The Family Journal, 30 (2).

Funding method

Keep what you raise – this project will receive all pledges made by 31st July 2025 at 11:59pm