October 1st: A Memoir of Escape and Regeneration
The Story Behind This Project
My Facebook post from October 1st 2024: "33 years ago today, as a sixteen year old schoolgirl, I walked out of my fraught, chaotic family home for the last time, picked up a hold-all I’d stowed in a school locker and flew to Paris to meet the 46 year old gunrunner & friend of my Stepdad’s I’d been talking to over the summer (grooming, we’d call it now).
Ten days later I was arrested in a Halifax Building Society in Blackpool during the Conservative Party conference (long story) and went back to school to finish my A-levels &, after a few months of sanctuary in a friend’s home, to live in a bedsit and make something like my own life. Disowned by/disowning my family (mutually), with a bag of possessions & a £40 DSS grant (with which I bought a duvet cover, clock radio and kettle).
I vowed then that if I was ever stuck in a toxic situation (though I don’t think that was a nineties word) that I would use the escape valve of October 1st to release it. I’ve rarely needed it - but have always stood ready to leave everything again anytime I needed to. I have had a deep faith in the power of regeneration after destruction. It drives everything underneath for me.
I happened to have a counselling session today & we talked about me being finally ready to grow up and leave home non-chaotically now I have the most secure base I’ve ever had - in myself & in terms of where I am.
I feel gratitude to the many people who’ve shown kindness along the way & wish everyone their metaphorical equivalent of an October 1st escape valve."
Why This Memoir Matters Now
Last year, when I shared this story on Facebook it received an overwhelming response - 390 likes and 106 comments from people who connected deeply with this narrative of escape and rebuilding. Many shared their own stories or expressed how they wished they'd had their own "October 1st escape valve." This powerful reaction convinced me it's time to write the full memoir.
We're living in a time when narratives about trauma, neurodivergence, and healing are finally receiving the attention they deserve. I bring a perspective that challenges simplistic "triumph over tragedy" narratives while offering genuine hope.
This isn't just about documenting a dramatic teenage escape, it's about exploring how we create meaningful lives after disruption, how neurodivergent people navigate a world not designed for them, and how performance and creativity can transform pain into connection.
A Journey-Based Approach to Writing
Rather than writing from a fixed location, I plan to create this memoir through a series of writing retreats at locations connected to my story - Bradford during its Capital of Culture year, Sycamore Gap (subject of my recent poetry collection about regeneration after destruction), and other sites that resonate with themes of departure and return.
This mobile writing studio allows me to physically reconnect with places that shaped my journey while creating fresh perspectives on how we make meaning from our most challenging experiences.
Why Crowdfunding?
As a freelance writer & performer, I juggle commissioned work that can stop me being able to focus on my own creative stuff. Not helped by a post-pandemic income dive that’s made carving out that space much harder. As a neurodivergent facilitator who has spent years in burnout cycles, I'm trying to model sustainable ways of working. This funding would let me turn down some paid work (please still give me some though), and create the container I need to tell, not just my story, but wider social stories connected to my October 1st journey of escape and renewal -which I was chuffed to see resonated with so many people.
Your support allows me to:
- Create immersive writing residencies at key locations connected to my story
- Dedicate focused time to a project that falls outside standard funding structures
- Develop a memoir that speaks honestly about neurodivergence, trauma, and healing
Timeline and Vision
With your support, I aim to complete a full manuscript by October 1st, 2025. I've already written 14,000 words during a recent two-week self-funded writing retreat, establishing the alternating timeline structure that weaves between past experiences and present reflections.
The finished memoir will offer readers both a compelling personal narrative and a framework for understanding how we can transform our own difficult experiences into sources of strength and connection.
About Me
I'm a stand-up poet, spoken word artist, and broadcaster who regularly contributes to Radio 4's "The Verb" and has made two comedy series for Radio 4. I've been Poet in Residence for the Glastonbury Festival and the Great North Run, and completed a PhD in stand-up comedy.
My published works include "Where There's Muck There's Bras: True Stories of the North of England's Women" (Harper North), "On Sycamore Gap" (Harper North, 2024), "Bigger On the Inside" (Smokestack Books, 2024) and "The Oscillations" (Nine Arches Press, 2021).
As a neurodivergent advocate, my latest show "Bigger on the Inside" explores neurodiversity through the lens of Doctor Who, and I regularly facilitate writing workshops specifically for neurodivergent participants.