Men Behaving Brilliantly

by Caroline Cook in Luton, United Kingdom

Men Behaving Brilliantly

Total raised £360

raised so far

+ est. £30.00 Gift Aid



We’re seeking men who want to help make women/girls in Luton feel safer while raising £10000 for educational projects in schools/colleges.

by Caroline Cook in Luton, United Kingdom


The Crisis

In the UK and around the world, there is what’s being described as an epidemic of violence against women and girls. The deaths of Sarah Everard and Sabina Nessa were sadly just two of the many casualties of such violence this year.

With so much to do to change this story, it can be hard to know where to start!

What we do know is that, in most cases, seriously violent crimes against women do not just happen ‘out of the blue’. They are usually the end of a chain of disrespectful, coercive, violent or abusive actions by men that have not been adequately stopped from escalating to such a tragic end.

We also know that the vast majority of men find this kind of violence just as unacceptable as we do and that men like you are actively looking for ways to help make women and girls feel safer.

The Solution

As a man who cares about these things, we’d like to invite you to claim your ‘Men Behaving Brilliantly’ status simply by looking at these ten MBB goals and thinking about how you can take them on board during your everyday actions. If you’re doing them already, that’s perfect but if not, please consider making these small changes. On behalf of the women and girls in Luton (your mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives, friends and work colleagues), we thank you!

1. Cross over the road. Be mindful that a woman walking alone (especially at night) can feel quite vulnerable. Walking closely behind or running up to them can make a woman feel really anxious so think about how your space might affect her space, taking steps to make sure she knows you're not a threat. That might mean crossing over the road, talking on your phone so she can hear your approach or avoiding hiding your face as you pass by.

2. Watch your language. When talking to or about women face-to-face or online, be aware of the language you use so as not to cause offence. No woman (or man for that matter) likes sexist or disrespectful chat. Beware also of ‘casual sexism’ as sometimes what seems like a bit of banter is another reason why women can feel unsafe.

3. Call it out. Violence against women takes many forms and occurs in many different places – in homes, in public spaces and in the workplace. Take some time to learn more and if you see it, make a stand by calling it out. Registering your company for LAWC’s ‘Employers Against Domestic Abuse’ project would be a great way to improve your understanding of this issue - contact us at [email protected] to find out more.

4. No means no. We don’t think this one requires much further explanation - except to say that consent is also about checking for an active ‘yes’ rather than listening for a ‘no’, and that applies to all involved.

5. Cultivate good relationships. Positive relationships with the opposite sex are an important part of life. Whether it’s a mother, sister, aunt, grandma, friend, partner or colleague, aim to treat all with equal respect.

6. Talk to other men. The issue of male violence against women should not be something that only women talk about. Discuss it with your colleagues, mates, fathers, brothers and perhaps most importantly your sons. You might just come up with a brilliant idea to bring about change and hopefully kickstart a future where this issue no longer has to be tackled the way it does today.

7. Spot the danger zones. Keep a look out for potential danger in and around your local community, be it places or behaviour. Report anything that doesn’t seem right and needs acting on or could be improved (e.g. dark alleyways, concerning conversations etc).

8. Be DA aware. While high profile cases often involve strangers, the reality is that most violence against women and girls is inflicted by people they know. Take some time to earn about domestic violence and the signs to look out for among the women in your life. Once you know more, you can also help to pass this on by talking about wider issues like gender, respect and human rights with the next generation in your family.

9. Be calm. Open displays of anger (shouting, swearing etc) makes many women feel scared. If you know you’re prone to a flare-up, make a pledge to change that behaviour now. You could take up a calming pursuit like meditation or mindfulness or perhaps pick up a new hobby like running that can release tension in a more positive way.

10. Make a donation. Giving your support to a woman’s sector organisation that’s working to make vulnerable women feel safer and better protected from issues like domestic violence is a fantastic way to behave brilliantly! In Luton, LAWC is helping over 1000 women every year to remove themselves from situations like domestic abuse, recover from their trauma and move forward with their lives. Find out more about this work here.

Your Donation

The launch of this campaign on 21633961787_man_offering_hand_to_woman-pexels-1600x1000.jpg5th November coincides with the beginning of ‘16 Days of Activism’ to end violence towards women and girls. It’s our hope that as many men as possible from our community will be encouraged to introduce the ten MBB actions into their lives.

If you would like to tick number 10 off your list right now, a donation towards our work at LAWC would be a real bonus for us!

At the moment, it costs us around £400 to help each woman who needs our support. The COVID pandemic has led to record high demand for our services and, with grant funding in ever shorter supply, there’s often little left in our budget for additional work like running educational programmes for young people in Luton’s schools and colleges. But, these kind of projects are so important in helping young people to understand more about domestic abuse, healthy relationships and what boys and girls can do to stay safe and support each other. Your support could really change things for the future.

Please donate:

  • £13 – this is £1 for every Domestic Abuse crime recorded in Luton each day.
  • £16 – that’s £1 for every day of the 16 Days of Activism to end violence towards women/ girls.
  • £22 – this is £1 for the 22% of Domestic Abuse victims who experience this form of violence repeatedly in Luton.
  • £33 – you’re giving £1 for each of the 33 out of 1000 Luton residents who become victims of violent and sexual offences.
  • £80 – a pledge of £1 for each of the women who were killed in the UK in between the high profile cases of Sarah Everard and Sabina Nessa. 
  • Any other amount you can spare!

Thank you!

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