Help Launch The FitStory Foundation

Aim

Helping disengaged boys and young men get on the mats before they go off the rails.

From looking at me in a photo as a child you wouldn't believe what I am about to share with you.

But I grew up in a dysfunctional family surrounded by abuse, violence and trauma.
It was generational.
And nobody in my family did anything to heal from it.

Both of my older brothers were victims of child abuse, in various forms.

And they did with that pain what so many men do. They passed it on. 

I was sexually abused by one of them when I was 12 years old and by the time I was 13, my eldest brother had been convicted of murder and was sentenced to life.

Those experiences started to shape the person I became.

I was trying to navigate life as a teenager carrying pain I didn't know what to do with.

At 17 things had been spiralling out of control for a long time and I was taking drugs every day as a way to mask pain I didn't know how to name. Any and every drug I could get my hands on. Most of which I was also dealing.

Dealing led me further down the wrong path, I was also arrested for ABH but all charges were dropped, yet it didn't stop me fighting and my anti-social behaviour got worse.

My projections were harmful to myself and others too who had to live in the consequences of who I was becoming.

And somewhere underneath all of it was a fear I couldn't shake:

I was going to end up like my brothers.

I believed deep down that I was going to end up in prison or dead.

But I didn't.

At 20, I started to turn my life around.

It didn't happen overnight, but slowly over the span of a decade I was able to confront a lot of my trauma and heal the wounds I had been living with for most of my life.

Today, I am a proud dad of 3 little girls who haven't had to inherit any of what I went through because I found a different path.

I am also a business owner and author of a book that releases later this year called "The Unhealed Man". A memoir about what happens when a man becomes the curse no one before him could break. The book is about what my brothers did, and what I did.

It is about what led me here.

At one point, I never thought any of this was possible.

Yet, I am here today because how our story starts, doesn't have to define where it ends.

But sadly, for many, it ends exactly how it did for my brothers.

Over the years I have reflected on why that was.

Why did I become who I did, even though all the odds were stacked against me?

What did I do that my brothers didn't?

Why didn't I end up sitting in prison?

And the truth is, it comes down to this. 

Movement AND Mentors.

Not one or the other. 
Both.

Movement played an enormous part in helping me transform who I was through my actions. 

It gave me somewhere to put all my pain when I didn't have words for it.

However, movement wasn't enough.

There were mentors I had who believed in me at times when I didn't. They were there when no one else was.

But good mentors are hard to find. And I was just lucky to have found them when I did.

I think about the situation many at-risk boys and young men are in. And I think about my brothers situation...

What if they had found something that intervened earlier?

What if, as boys or young men, they'd had somewhere constructive to put what they were carrying? 

Strong men around them who could challenge them and mentor them.

Would they have dealt differently with what happened to them?

Would I have suffered at the hands of them?

Would somebody still have lost their life?

I don't know.

And I never will.

But I know this: My story didn't end the way I thought it would back then. And now I want to do something that gives boys and young men who are on the wrong path find a different one.

That is why I am building The FitStory Foundation.

A community-led project, (social enterprise) that uses Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and male mentorship to help disengaged, at-risk boys and young men between the ages of 7 and 17.

That decade matters.

This is where I went off the rails. This is where a lot of boys and young men go off the rails. This is where they begin building a strong sense of who they are and what kind of men they want to become.

So why Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu gives young people somewhere to experience things that are difficult to teach through words alone.

On the mats, they will struggle.

They will lose.

They will get frustrated.

They will be put under pressure.

And they will learn to keep going.

Over time, they learn how to stay calm when things get difficult. 

How to solve problems. 

How to win without making somebody else feel small. 

How to lose without falling apart. 

How to respect themselves and the person in front of them.

And slowly, they begin collecting evidence of what they're capable of.

"I can do difficult things"

"I can learn"

"I can improve"

"I belong here".

That's why we're starting with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. After all the years of exploring different forms of martial art and fitness, I believe it is the right vehicle for helping boys and young men build strong identities.

But the mats are only part of that. Alongside Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu will be male mentorship. The idea is simple: Take the experiences happening on the mats, real-time coachable moments, and connect them to life outside of them.

What happens when you want to quit?

How do you respond when you're frustrated?

What does losing teach you?

What are you working towards?

Who are you becoming?

And importantly, surround boys with strong men who don't just talk about those things, but live them.

Men who are present. Disciplined. Accountable. Men who can hold up a mirror that these boys and young men see themselves in.

Men who have been through difficult things themselves and built something from them.

Men that have lived experience with overcoming trauma, abuse, addiction etc.

Movement like Jiu-Jitsu gives boys and young men experiences to grow through and Mentors who "get them", to grow alongside.

The FitStory Pilot Programme X Gorilla Grapplers

This Crowdfund will help us turn The FitStory Foundation from an idea into something real. What we need now is the funding to get everything moving.

The first goal: Get the first 20 boys and young men onto the mats and deliver our pilot programme. At no cost to them, or their families. Covering everything from the Jiu-Jitsu, equipment they need, travel to and from the academy if necessary and equipment needed.

We don't want there to be ANY barrier to getting them on the mats.

The £2,500 will help fund:

• Equipment and uniforms 
• Venue and programme delivery costs
• Insurance, safeguarding, DBS and CIC administration
• Coaching and mentoring delivery costs
• FitStory Awards/pilot materials

We have partnered with Gorilla Grapplers in Waterlooville, run by Black Belt, Adam Gunning, and his experienced coaches. They will be our official delivery partners for the pilot programme and beyond.

Removing the financial barrier 

My family didn't have much money growing up.

My mother couldn't afford to send us to sports programmes, clubs or activities that cost money.

For many families, that barrier still exists today.

And some of the boys and young men who could benefit most from belonging to something like this, may be the least likely to have access to it.

FitStory Foundation will never see money to be the reason a boy can't walk through the door, get started or continue their journey in Jiu-Jitsu.

That's why our programme will be provided at no cost to the boys and their families. It is going to be fully funded.

The really important and overlooked bit:  Disengaged, at-risk boys and young men aren't searching for a local jiu-jitsu academy or googling where to find a mentor. 

We need to make sure the opportunity reaches the ones that need support most.

As part of the pilot, we'll work directly with local youth organisations, alternative provision, schools, community groups and families community hubs across Leigh Park, Waterlooville and Petersfield.

These organisations already have relationships with boys and young men. Your donations will go a long way in helping us reach them.

This is a lot of work in and of itself. But we are ready to do it. And with Gorilla Grapplers partnering with us, we have everything we need to make serious impact and change some lives.

We do not currently have a delivery date, but we will keep you informed as we build this and you can follow @thefitstory_foundation and @gorillagrapplers on Instagram for regular updates.

My final word.

I can't go back and change what happened to my brothers.

I can't change what happened to me.

And I'll never know whether having something like The FitStory Foundation in our lives as boys would have changed the course of our family generationally.

But I am betting that it would.

My past gave me the reason to build FitStory.

If you believe in this mission, please support the Crowdfunder.

Donate if you can.

Something, is better than nothing.

£5 goes a long way when we have 500 people donating.

Share it if you can't.

Tell people you know who might resonate with my story.

Or if you know a business locally who would be interested in sponsoring, get them to contact Matt on IG @healingwithmatt directly.

Thank you.

Funding method

Keep what you raise – this project will receive all pledges made by 16th October 2026 at 7:02pm