Colourful Cocks and Quims

Aim

Creating an illustrated book featuring the best ways to say penis and vagina. All profits go to FPA, the UK's top sexual health charity.

60 pages of cocks, fannies and fun facts about them. 

Penis Fly Trap. Temple of Poon. Pork Sword. Trouser Flute. You’ve always hoped that someone would turn your favourite ways to say fanny and penis into beautiful works of art. Well your wish has come true and all profits from this hardback are going to charity.

Top notch illustrators, from all over the world, are drawing these dicks and ditches, including Rosie Foden (Bearded Oyster) and Nico Miyakawa (Vlad the Impaler). Some beautiful typography will also give you genital wisdom along the way...do you know the origin of the Prince Albert or why oysters make you horny? Just like a dirty strip club, all will be revealed. 

Combine all this in one unique, crafted hardback and you’ve got yourself a lovely little package.

Why on earth are we doing this? 

FPA is the UK's leading sexual health charity looking after the hearts, minds and genitals of the country.

Each year, FPA aim to reach at least 1.3 million people including many young people across the UK, aged between 16 and 25, through a vital and varied programme that spans advocacy and campaigns, advice and information as well as education and training.  Your support will help: 

• Deliver relationship and sexual health education to vulnerable young people across the UK.
• Produce high-quality, straight talking information for young people.
• Campaign to help raise awareness of key issues affecting young people, and break down prejudices relating to sexuality and sexual health.

But they need our help more than ever.

The government is cutting public health budgets by £800m over 6 years, placing a further strain on already stretched sexual health services that could result in a rise of STI diagnoses and unplanned pregnancies.

"But I'm just an immature grown-up who  

laughs at dicks and pussies, what can I do?"

You just keep at it. 

Buy a book and laugh away at the Badly Packed Kebab On a Hairdresser’s Floor. You’re helping some of the 400,000 people diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection each year. 

Your parents may question your life choices when they see Colourful Cocks and Quims in your toilet but you tell 'em to nob off. Your donation has helped provide sex education to teenagers in some of the worst affected areas around the country. 

How does this all work? 

It's simple. We're aiming to raise £5,000. We’re keeping costs down on production and publishing (paying illustrators, creating the book and printing) so that as much as possible can go directly to FPA.

Once the book has been created we'll sell in bookstores. All money from these sales will go to charity, too.  

Rewards

Early bird special

A hardback, illustrated book for a tenner? You’d be a right nobber to not go for this.

Colourful Cocks & Quims Book

The full colour hardback in all its glory.

Illustrated Calendar and CCQ Book

There hasn't been a better combo since the vagina and penis. 

The Awkward Mum Package

Mum. No need to have ‘the talk’ with the apple of your husband’s Jap’s eye. Just give them this very informative, anatomically incorrect pack to guide them through the mysterious world of sex.

The Christmas Stocking

The book will be ready in the months leading up to Christmas, so this is a perfect stocking filler for those close to you...and maybe someone you hate. Genital themed wrapping paper, 2 X calendars 2 X books.

Insert Face Here 

No this isn't some weird glory hole; this is a chance for you to feature in the book. Send us your picture and our illustrators will model one cock or quim drawing on you. If you've always thought your friend was a bit of a dick, or a real pussy, then there is no better way to stitch them up. 

This package also includes 2 x books and 2 x calendars. 

A Day of Drawings Dicks and Ditches

One of our amazing illustrators will give a genital masterclass for you and four friends, teaching you how to draw some crude cocks and quims of your own. If they're good enough, they might even end up in the book.

Timeline

July 19th - August 19th: Crowdfunder is live

August 18th to end of October: Book and other bits produced

Early November: Colourful Cocks and Quims sent out, just in time for Christmas

Every donation will help us hit our target and support a charity that are doing an incredible job. 

So please share this page and keep updated on our Instagram

Much love from the CCQ team,

Vicky 'the Quim' Lench

Josh 'the Cock' Cunningham 

This project successfully funded on 1st September 2017