There comes a time in every person's life where a call to greatness can no longer be ignored. For me, that moment is now. And the medium on which I attain greatness, the Santander Bicycle
The occassion? Sometime after the Tour de France because they won't let me actually compete.
The reason for my success? My slightly underdeveloped quads - and my sheer determination and wit.
You may say "Impossible" and you may be right. But as in all things, success is built on the backs of doubters (which is a quote I honestly feel like I just made up and am quite proud of). And you random citizen who questions my success, are a doubter, and a smelly one at that.
Why does this need to be done? Because... "Cyclists"... am I right? Pretentious much. And that Lance guy... what a monkey.
What do I need? Well some money would be great. I'd have to take off quite a bit of work to pull this off. Also the bike costs like £2 for 30 minutes. So I suppose i'd have to figure out how many 30 minute sessions it would require to pull the whole thing off.
Point is, it needs to happen, and your kind donations will make it so.