Amie's Mental Health Care

by Samantha in Blackpool, England, United Kingdom

Amie's Mental Health Care
We did it
On 17th August 2021 we successfully raised £828 with 43 supporters in 48 days

My daughter needs urgent mental health private care, she is being massively failed by the NHS!

by Samantha in Blackpool, England, United Kingdom

******Please note that this may be a trigger for people who suffer with mental illness, distressing images, suicide and abuse references are included to show that this is a valid cause and sadly to show the pain and distress Amie is having to live with so please read with caution! They are there to show people just how bad our children with mental illness are being left to suffer and it is not acceptable! When children and anyone with mental illness harm themselves to the extent that my daughter does then it means they are absolutely screaming that they are suffering and need more help than what they are getting! I would also like to advise people that this crowdfunder and everything in it has been approved by my daughter because she is desperate for help! If she did not agree with any of it then I would shut the whole thing down in a heartbeat!****** 

I have had enough of the childrens mental health services (CAMHS) thinking that offering a 1 hour appointment once a week, having a social worker who pops in every couple of weeks for an hour, giving self harmers the advice of 'instead of using something sharp to harm with, use ice or an elastic band' (like its that simple) or having an out of hours number to call, who's answer during crisis is always 'if you can't keep your child safe then take them up to the hospital' is support. It can be early on but when a child is so unwell that they are suicidal and acting on it, self harming severely, hearing voices and hallucinating then it is no where near enough! 

***You don't have to use crowdfunder to donate, you can also use Amie's Paypal address [email protected] ***

Update 05/08/2021

Amie is still in our nearest hospital (Blackpool Victoria) and has been for 5 weeks now apart from for the one day where CAMHS decided she was fit for discharge when she clearly wasn't. She is still being denied mental illness inpatient care (tier 4 the cove) by the NHS even though a CAMHS psychiatrist confirmed that she needs assessing by them and is not safe in the community right now! We are still waiting for social care to find her a mental health based place of safety where she can be given care 24/7. This will not be a mental health inpatient unit though like what is needed. The place could be over 3 and half hours drive away due to them having to find the right kind of placement for her. All of this could have been avoided if the CAMHS inpatient unit (The Cove in Morecambe, 45 minutes drive away) had just accepted one of the past 10 referrals over the past year and given her the treatment that she desperately needs and the care that a psychiatrist has confirmed she should be having! Last week Amie's care co-ordinator called in to see her for an hour on the ward but other than that we have had no contact from CAMHS for the past 3 weeks! She is still extremely distressed and many times has had to have someone on a one to one watching her to make sure she can't seriously harm herself, they have had to call security to get sharp objects from her numerous times, force the bathroom door open when she attempted to drown herself and sadly much more. I can't thank the nurses and doctors of the childrens ward at Blackpool Victoria Hospital enough because they are not mental health trained and are still doing an amazing job trying to keep Amie safe!

*****Trigger warning-distressing self harm pictures, suicide and abuse references included to show just how bad our children are being made to suffer!****

Hi my name is Sam and this is to raise funds for my daughter. this has taken a huge amount of courage as I never like asking anyone for help but I know I have to. Amie's story is a long one so please read when you have the time....

I am desperately trying to get help for my daughter regarding her mental health. She has emotional dysregulation, PTSD, anxiety and depression with suicidal thoughts and attempts, possible ADHD, possible odd, tics motor and vocal. Amie is 13 years old, will be 14 next month and has been with CAMHS since 2014. Back then she was diagnosed with attachment disorder but things weren't too bad, she went through her primary school years but unfortunately she was bullied quite badly during year 5 and 6 and because she was such a sensitive girl the bullying just got worse. I went up to the school numerous times to put a stop to it but it still carried on, the teachers did not do enough! Once she left primary and started high school she was like a new girl, she was confident, she had lots of new friends, she was wearing makeup, confidently doing her tiktok videos and really loving her new life like a normal girl going into her teens,  

Amie starting a new life at her new school

1626010576_207960586_552114125823591_2241782924785613549_n.jpg

Amie when she was full of confidence

1626010508_206691855_481827926512843_8257319090758446500_n.jpg

1626098067_206421057_162454485835015_7646345298098753712_n.jpg

Over Christmas 2018 Amie was contacted through social media by the girl who used to bully her. She started to scare Amie saying that she was going to be going to her high school after the holidays and started sending her vile messages such as 'you should go and kill yourself' 'you are ugly and fat' 'I am going to make your life hell' This made Amie panic and she disclosed that she had also been seriously abused by this girl during primary school.  I can't go into details about the kind of abuse it was as it is far too sensitive for Amie! but the police, social services, school were all alerted. Unfortunately due to the age of the girls being so young when the incidents took place they were unable to go ahead with any investigation or prosecution. 

Amie never went back to mainstream high school after that. The whole disclosure over Christmas triggered her mental illness and her life since then has been devastating. She went back to CAMHS for support because she had started self harming, she was hallucinating, hearing voices, was suicidal, she was drawing and painting disturbing pictures such as her hanging herself, her with knives and blood everywhere, writing 'kill me' over and over again, she even cut her hair because the voices in her head told her to, she started to wear black all the time and she was so depressed! it was heartbreaking!

Amie after cutting her hair off saying that she is ugly anyway so why have nice hair

1626010706_196306675_296425038925800_1889818931452498640_n.jpg

Amie went through a really tough time during the end of 2018 into 2019. She was in and out of hospital for self harm and suicidal thoughts. She was cutting all over her body including her face and it was decided that she needed mental inpatient admission as things had got so bad. Luckily at this time the cuts weren't too deep and there weren't as many. She spent 6 months at the Dewi Jones Unit which is a CAMHS tier 4 mental health unit, a part of Alder Hey in Liverpool. Things weren’t great whilst she was there. She still managed to run away, self harm and cut her hair again but she was having assessments and a bit of therapy. She was safer there surrounded by mental health experts than at home.

How her self harm started

1626170424_211290789_506085560658171_112022501482696021_n.jpg

To what it has escalated to 

1626170474_210180828_347240660193913_8700146600102589870_n.jpg

1626287227_215719018_948756245906658_3856727248485376516_n.jpg

1626287260_216036006_969031637218922_3617563821971747004_n.jpg

How the self harm first started

1626008198_207535021_4264627343576006_5989597715856980484_n.jpg

To what it has escalated to 

1626171109_206441690_352339599623165_1593482250134296077_n.jpg

1626414236_056dfa1f-a7b4-4c80-9f2e-5a44291ee3d0.jpeg

When Amie came out she was better than how she went in and things weren’t as bad, she started at a school for children with mental health difficulties and managed about 2 hours a day. she still was hearing voices every so often and they told her to cut her hair again so extreme that we had to shave her head during the first lockdown of 2020. She was self harming but the cuts weren't too bad . We had, had it drilled into us by CAMHS that if the cuts aren’t life threatening needing medical attention then we are to manage it at home. So that is what we try to do. Her body is always covered in either scars or cuts that are going to be there for life. 

Constant scars on her body which according to CAMHS are ok as long as they aren't life threatening and needing medical attention. All of this on her body is a reflection of what is going on in Amie's head and she is screaming!

1628097229_223047055_3103265719930598_4937635997172909149_n.jpg

Constant cuts and scars all over her body

1626680320_214550402_209361467776030_3971546255362041983_n.jpg

We plodded on like that for a few months and then during autumn 2020 she started self harming quite severely. The cutting was getting deeper and in dangerous places and there was a lot more of them! She constantly looks like she has been attacked by a tiger with all the cuts going everywhere from her face down to her feet. This level of self harm was going on daily. 

Being told that we should manage self harm like this at home and not take Amie to hospital, never mind how much pain she must be going through inside to do this to her body!

1626414506_23db39e8-6f9b-4f43-8ce1-b996802be92c.jpeg

Then came the first overdose. I rushed her to hospital and I demanded that CAMHS refer her to the mental inpatient unit. She was going downhill rapidly again and it needed intervention now. The inpatient unit rejected the referral and discharge was arranged where we were given a support worker to help us in the community who would come round about once a week. How they think something like that is going to fix the problem I have no idea?! 

Hospital after an overdose

1626011465_fund3.jpg

So we were sent home again, the extreme self harm was still everyday, she would be absolutely covered in blood. She was still trying to attend school around 2 hours a day but this didn’t happen every day due to being covered in scars and cuts which couldn’t be exposed to other children or she was just too distressed to attend. 

A month later came the next overdose and she was in the hospital for December. During this admission out of the blue she developed tics both motor and vocal which is what people know as Tourettes (we are waiting for a formal diagnosis of this because the tics have to be present for a year before they can be diagnosed as Tourettes) where she would start repeatedly punching herself in the head and chest so much that she bruised herself and was screaming in pain. Again I told them to get a referral done back to the mental inpatient unit...too much was going on for her right now and she needed specialist support. She was now dealing with the confusion of her body doing things she had no control over alongside the self harm, suicide attempts, hallucinations, voices in her head etc but none of this made a difference so again the referral was rejected and we were sent home 4 days before Christmas. Over Christmas and the new year holidays we were left to cope with self harm, screaming, shouting, banging, swearing, explicit remarks and sentences, Amie punching and smacking herself and having attacks on the floor, hallucinations, hearing voices, running away, etc. This was all extremely overwhelming for all of us and my son was so scared and distressed by seeing all this that he went to live with his dad.  

Amie sometimes has episodes of punching herself, slapping herself, kicking and screaming and these are known as 'tic attacks' which are quite common with people who have tics and Tourette's. These are when a lot of tics all want to come out at the same time and they are extremely distressing! CAMHS told me that the mental inpatient unit would not accept her 'just for this kind of thing'...I argued that these attacks were now alongside her existing distress such as self harm, extreme mood swings, suicide attempts, hallucinations, hearing voices etc and she was a very scared and confused little girl. It didn't make any difference.

In addition to the abuse trauma that caused Amie to become so ill in the first place she was also dealing with (and still is) the fact that a man who had brought her up as his own from being 10 months old, along with his whole family started to back away as she became more unwell and not so easy to understand or care for anymore. This backing away turned to literally no contact from any of the family but they have carried on caring for my son like Amie never existed. She has to cope with my son talking about his dad all the time which up until a year ago was hers too! They all know how poorly Amie is, about the overdoses etc but not one of them has got in touch to see how she is. It makes me feel sick that anyone could do this after 13 years! I am heartbroken, still in shock and disgusted by it all so I can't even imagine how it must feel to Amie! there is no wonder she is so ill and she deserves intense help and support right now to get her through it more than what I can give. Of course this family is still involved with my son so I will have to leave that there. 

After Christmas came another overdose and hospital admission, again another inpatient unit referral rejection. We tried getting her into her routine of 2 hours a day at school but I was getting called due to her self harming in the toilets, or because they didn't know how to cope with her tic attacks (where she would lie on the floor punching and smacking herself) or because she had started carrying a blade to cut herself with that she would not give to anyone.

Next came the time when Amie went out with a friend for the afternoon. I had gone out with the dog thinking everything was ok..ish (but the problem is that her moods change so rapidly from hyper to depressed that anything can happen at any time and the other problem is that I try to balance her being a normal teenage girl wanting to go out with her friends with also having a number of serious mental health difficulties) then out of the blue I got a call from the police saying she had been found on a childrens park by some children self harming with a piece of glass and they had got scared and called to report it. I went to get her and she was absolutely covered in blood. I told the police that I would need to get her home because CAMHS tell us that we have to manage it at home. They always look at me like I am the worst mum in the world and I have to explain that we are used to seeing it and have been told that unless the cuts need stitches or other urgent medical attention then we are not to go upto the hospital. She then tried running so the police cars cornered her off, we managed to get her in the car and get home where she went upto her room. I locked all the doors but somehow she managed to get out of her bedroom window, climb down to the ground and run away (I still have no idea how she did it) 

This episode was at the end of May, I called the police straight back and she was missing for about 3 hours until some women saw her looking distressed and injured so alerted the police where she was. She was taken up to hospital and admitted onto the childrens ward. Again I told them that Amie needed referring to the CAMHS mental health unit, she was not safe and she needed their intervention and help. Amie was in there for 3 weeks and during this time she had an assessment with one of the CAMHS psychiatrists. The psychiatrist confirmed that Amie is too ill to be in the community right now, she is at high risk of danger to herself, that she needs assessing by the mental inpatient unit, that in her experience when a child takes to self harming on their face it means they are at their lowest point and that due to the number of mental illness conditions that we have in our family, she said it is too much to ignore. This was all typed up and sent over to the CAMHS inpatient unit. We were so relieved thinking that finally Amie was going to get the help she needed! 

The CAMHS inpatient unit nurse came to assess Amie. She did her best at convincing me that we could try more in the community to avoid inpatient admission. We agreed on increasing her medication to a therapeutic dose (anti depressants and sleep medication) and getting us more support in the community with a new social worker.. (luckily we have been given a social worker back who used to be involved in our support and she is AMAZING) I did not feel comfortable but since we were changing a few things to the care plan I was prepared to give it a go and do things their way.  I stressed that if that plan did not work then I wanted her admitting to their inpatient facility due to the psychiatrist confirming she needs their intervention and her not being safe in the community. 

A painting Amie did on the day she went missing and took the most recent overdose

1626097100_206421057_162454485835015_7646345298098753712_n.jpg

She was out of hospital for 3 weeks until she ran away in the middle of the night when I was asleep. I was woken up to the police banging on my door at 2am on a Monday morning. I checked my phone and there was a voicemail from my daughter saying ‘mum I am so sorry’ I honestly thought they were coming to tell me my daughter was dead! It turns out she had ran away, taken an overdose and when she started to feel dizzy and sick she panicked and rang the mental health out of hours who then alerted the police. I called her phone and luckily she picked up and I persuaded her to tell me where she was so we could get her upto hospital for treatment.

When I got up to a and e she was drowsy and her arms were covered in blood as usual. I said enough is enough, she is not going to make it to her 16th birthday at this rate, she needs to be admitted to the mental inpatient unit! We can’t keep going on like this, what if she hadn’t have called the out of hours services to alert them of her overdose! The referral was sent in and they agreed to come and assess.

During the assessment with the CAMHS inpatient nurse my daughter was covered in cuts and scars, shaking with panic and anxiety, finding it difficult to engage, constantly looking at the floor but managed to tell them she has a plan to end her life and does not want to be here anymore. I could tell by the nurses responses that they were not going to accept this referral. We felt like we were being interviewed for a job or something and like we were literally having to beg for their help! The next day I had a phone call from the nurse who had been up to the hospital to say that they did not feel inpatient admission was necessary right now on the grounds of...

1-her becoming too reliant on the unit to help her because she needs to develop the skills to help herself.

2-she is at risk of picking up self harm ideas and people being a bad influence on her

I argued that

1-they are a unit to keep children safe when they need it the most where they are allowed to rely on their service until they are feeling better. She had already been in an inpatient unit and there was no issue with her leaving there and returning back to her home

2-she is already at risk from the influence of other children because she goes to a mental health school and on the childrens ward they put the children with mental illness together where they all share everything with each other.

Its not even that they don’t have any beds available! I told them that these were not acceptable reasons, that Amie is not safe in the community which has been confirmed by a psychiatrist and that we had tried things their way which had failed. I told CAMHS to challenge it because it was not good enough. During this time Amie was placed with someone watching her when I wasn’t there because she was trying to strangle herself and had found something to cut herself with. The mental inpatient unit was updated on the latest incident but they stood by their decision. Our community CAMHS said that there was nothing they could do, that the inpatient unit had made their decision but given them some advice on how we could cope better in the community.  A multi agency meeting was arranged to discuss how we could 'safely get Amie home from hospital' 

During this meeting my social worker said that she was not happy with the decision and that Amie needs more help than what they can offer right now and I expressed that obviously I wasn't comfortable with taking her home. I asked our CAMHS worker what the units recommendations were to be able to cope in the community...they had actually said that there was nothing more that could be arranged to help us because all the support was already in place! They had also accused us of not using all of the offered support in the community such as therapy! It has already been discussed and confirmed with CAMHS that Amie is no where near ready for therapy of any kind because her mental state can't take it so how the hell are we meant to engage with that!? We did not get much further with the discharge meeting because Amie got so overwhelmed, ran out of the room, went to her bed and managed to get hold of medication and took an overdose..in the hospital ward toilets! (so if you are wondering what I am doing to keep my daughter safe then I will put things into perspective, Amie manages to self harm and overdose on a hospital ward full of nurses around, she will always find something to harm with, she is clever, she makes you think she has taken her daily medication when she has actually been saving them up for a week to take as an overdose and things like that) Obviously the meeting was cut off, Amie received the medical care she needed and the mental inpatient unit were updated of the incident. Even this didn’t change their decision! 

My social worker was so angry that she called them herself to express her feelings that Amie isn’t safe and that if she can cause harm like that to herself on a hospital ward then how is her mum meant to keep her safe when its just the two of them at home?! Amie says that the voices told her to take the overdose that day which our social worker told them about but their response to that was ‘well it isn’t psychosis its trauma related’ We have asked them time and time again why this makes a difference, whatever is causing the hallucinations and voices doesn't matter, it is still causing Amie to be a risk to herself. Nothing we say or however much the situation escalates they still have no interest in re considering their decision and taking Amie under their care.

This same day I was supposed to receive a call from the psychiatrist to discuss Amie's medication. I have borderline personality disorder (amongst other things) and I take mood stabilisers which keep me level. I have asked a few psychiatrists now if that kind of medication could help Amie's emotional dysregulation which causes her life to be so overwhelming and her feelings to be so intense. It turns out that it could be beneficial to her so I was hopeful and eager to discuss it with the psychiatrist. My idea was to get her on this kind of medication whilst she was at the inpatient unit so that she was being kept safe during trials, this way she could hopefully come home and back into the community to start her trauma therapy when she was in a better headspace to do so. Obviously the CAMHS inpatient unit had no interest in changing their decision so I was relying on the medication review. 

The call never came. I chased it up and was told by the secretary that the doctor hadn’t called because she knew that Amie was on the childrens ward and didn’t want to add to the stress! I told her that we needed the appointment and Amie desperately needs something to help her. She told me that she would speak to the psychiatrist but the clinic was full for the day and that she was leaving CAMHS in 3 days time anyway, but said she would speak to the doctor and call me back, she never did. Now the psychiatrist has left and apparently they do not have one at the CAMHS in Blackpool at all. 

Another hospital discharge meeting was arranged and I asked what would happen if I refused to take Amie home on the grounds that she is not safe in the community as confirmed by a psychiatrist. I was bluntly given the ultimatum of take Amie home or they would look at putting her into foster care! We were given a new support plan to be discharged with which was our existing care plan with the addition of someone coming out to the house on a saturday and a sunday for an hour. We didn't even get to the weekend because as soon as we got back home Amie had got her blades out and was self harming to extreme levels. She wouldn't come out of her room and if I did manage to distract her it was for about half an hour before she would go straight back to cutting herself. I couldn't get the blade off her and every time she gave one up she got another one. They are the tiniest blades, we have turned her room upside down and we can't find where she hides them..like I say she is extremely clever when it comes to her sharps because she genuinely feels like she needs them. I was hoping she would feel a little better by the next morning and I would be able to distract her and maybe go out somewhere but she refused to do anything other than sit on her bed cutting herself. My social worker came round who also couldn't persuade her to give up the blade so we rang CAMHS for advice. We both agreed that we couldn't just sit and watch her cut herself all day even if they weren't needing stitches or urgent medical attention yet! They said that we would need to call the police as they would need to get the 'weapon' from her. They came out, got one of the blades from her and then decided she needed to go up to hospital.  So back up to a and e we went. 

In a and e, Amie had also managed to sneak blades in with her and started cutting herself in the childrens waiting area. That tells you just how desperate she is for that release! I alerted the staff and we were taken into a cubicle where again she just sat cutting herself. Every time we persuaded her to give a blade up she would produce another one 5 minutes later.  In the end we had to call the police in because Amie was still refusing to give up all of the blades. The reason why she won't is because she feels like she absolutely needs them and panics if she doesn't have one, it is her only release. If you are not familiar with mental illness and self harm then it is really difficult to explain but to Amie she absolutely feels like she needs one with her at all times, like they are a safety kind of thing so when she feels too overwhelmed by a situation then she can just cut herself for the release wherever she is. Amie was in such distress that two police women had to handcuff her, pin her down and search her. She was screaming so loud, I literally collapsed to the floor in shock, the nurses helped me up and took me into a room and would not allow me to go back into my daughter. I could hear her screaming mum down the corridor. It was horrific! By this time the out of hours mental health team, all the nurses and all of the doctors were present and witnessed all of the distress Amie was under. They all agreed that she was not safe to go onto the childrens ward and needed to call the mental health inpatient unit (tier 4 cove) for direct admission. After 2 and half hours they then came back and said that they would be admitting her to the ward and see CAMHS the next day. I asked what had happened when they called the inpatient unit and they said 'we were going to call them but decided we didn't need to' Absolute rubbish, in other words they had called the cove who had again rejected the referral! It does not take 2 and half hours to decided that she needs to be admitted onto the childrens ward upstairs.

Thanks to CAMHS forcing Amie out of hospital the day before and insisting she was fit for discharge, she was caused all of this unnecessary distress because she should not have been let out. The day after that my social worker received a call from CAMHS confirming that the cove had rejected their latest referral which was obviously the one made from a and e the night before. CAMHS were telling her that the ward were declaring Amie medically fit so they wanted to arrange another meeting to get her home! 

So we were now at a point where Amie was back on the childrens ward, literally at her worst, all of the previous care plans had failed, things were seriously escalating and we were still being made to try and cope in the community at home, which clearly wasn't working! Things should not have got to this point, Amie should have been admitted as an inpatient to the unit back when the psychiatrist assessed her and confirmed that she is not safe in the community and needed inpatient admission. None of us could believe what was happening, this 13 year old vulnerable, extremely poorly and at serious risk of harm girl was being denied treatment that had been confirmed she needed! To make matters worse I was also contacted by another mum who has their child receiving care through CAMHS who told me that her daughter had been sent to the mental inpatient unit at the Cove when she was no where near the level of crisis as what Amie is. She actually told me that her and her daughter did not agree with the admission yet they sent her anyway...so why not my child who is desperately in need of their care?! Another thing that we can't work out is that Amie was admitted as an inpatient to a unit back in 2019 for a lot less level of crisis than what is happening right now. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. 

Not only is all this going on for Amie but I also suffer with mental illness, I have borderline personality disorder and right now I am not stable which is effecting how much I can care for my daughter at the moment. All of this stress, heartbreak, anxiety and panic of seeing my daughter in so much distress and pain over the years is starting to build up and destroy me. There is only me and Amie at home together. I am her sole carer and I have told CAMHS time and time again that I am not well and that we need extra help from the inpatient service to keep my daughter safe, get her the right medication and so that I can have a short time to re charge so that I can carry on caring for her full time. This doesn’t seem to matter to them because they are not looking at the whole picture. Its all about ticking boxes and rules not looking at a families personal situation. I have even spoken to my own psychiatrist about everything going on with Amie and he can't get his head around the fact that a psychiatrist has said Amie is not safe in the community yet she keeps getting sent home!

This time social care have point blank said no that is not happening! Amie is not safe or well enough to be in the community right now. Our worker said that there is no way that she could watch CAMHS just keep throwing Amie out of hospital whilst she is so ill. They have had meetings and decided to arrange a safe place for Amie to go where she will have 24/7 care and support from people who have experience with children who suffer with mental illness. This will not be a mental illness inpatient unit but she will be cared for 24/7. I am trying to raise money for private care for Amie whilst she is there so that me and social care can work together to get her better. They have said that she will be able to stay there whilst she gets stable on new medication and has her trauma therapy so that it is all done at the same time to enable her to recover and come home in a much better headspace. They are arranging care that the NHS CAMHS is refusing to give! Money raised will be used for Amie's mental health care whilst she is at her placement. This includes all of her psychiatrist appointments, medication, treatment and therapy sessions.  A 1 hour consultation with a private psychiatrist alone costs around £500 and Amie is going to need ongoing treatment for months until we get her stable. This is the only way that we are going to get my daughter well on an urgent basis due to her being at high risk of suicide. If I leave Amie's care upto CAMHS then she will not make it past her 16th birthday and I refused to let that happen! 

We have been under CAMHS since 2014 and up until last year we had amazing care worker. Unfortunately she went off for a period of about 6 months and during that time the care and support that we were given was just disgraceful. During Amie’s admissions last year we had other kinds of problems with CAMHS. After one of the admissions they forced me to take Amie home even though I completely disagreed with the plan and refused to sign the discharge papers on the grounds that I didn’t feel she was safe enough, they literally signed all the paperwork off from their end and discharged her without my signature on it. There was another time when her tics started...one of the CAMHS staff tried telling me that Amie was only showing her tics when I was around implying that she was faking it. I spoke to the nurses who actually got my daughters notes to show me. In there it was documented about her tics when I hadn't been there all morning. When I called the worker out on this she told me that I shouldn’t have seen the notes about my daughter as they are confidential. My own daughters notes?! She completely ignored the fact that I had proven Amie was having her tics when I wasn't there and made a big deal about the fact that I shouldn't have seen my own daughters notes and she would be taking it up with the ward staff! The same worker the other day rang me after a meeting on the ward to check that I hadn’t been recording anything on my phone during discussions!

The childrens mental health services are failing my daughter so bad that I feel if I don't do something urgently then she will not make her 16th birthday! Amie has a diagnosis of Emotional Dysregulation, which means she has extremely intense mood swings which change quickly and range from hyper to severely depressed within minutes. PTSD which is causing hallucinations and hearing voices caused by the abuse when she was at primary school and the ongoing trauma regarding my sons family, Anxiety and Depression (with suicidal thoughts and attempts), possible ADHD, possible ODD, Tics Motor and Vocal and academically she is around 3 years younger than her age. She is an extremely unwell little girl who desperately needs help and for us to be listened to.

We are sadly not the only family going through this though. This kind of thing is going on all across the country! CAMHS make you feel like you are in a constant battle with them. Rather than feeling like they can help us we feel like they are against us, that they don’t listen, they are rude, they judge and they are patronising. When they come up to the ward when my daughter is in hospital we dread having to see them because their only agenda and goal is to get her discharged off the ward. Families are going through the never ending circle of having their children admitted to hospital for self harm and suicide attempts to then having CAMHS send them home the next day over and over again! They are dealing with their children having scars and cuts all over their bodies at such a young age that will be there physically and mentally for life, they are going through the heartbreak of their children being so distressed that they want to die and are acting on it. Families are constantly having the police out looking for their children because they keep disappearing whilst suffering with severe mental illness and being a serious risk of harm. Every time my daughter is in hospital there are so many children in there who have self harmed or have overdosed. 

The children are being denied medication that could help them even when they have a diagnosis. I have had to shout and scream to get Amie medication to help her and I am still fighting. Medication does not solve everything but it can certainly help and if it helps these poorly children have some kind of bearable childhood then I am all for it! Due to Amie's illness she has absolutely no education, she is distressed and self harms every single day and has had 4 overdoses..this is no life for a 13 year old girl. The other problem when it comes to medication is that one psychiatrist can agree with it and then the next one not. They all have different ways of working and different views. Amie was given ADHD meds at one point which we found helped with her concentration and reduced hyper episodes, the next psychiatrist then refused to prescribe them! 

One of the times when my daughter was distressed I tried to do things the way that CAMHS wanted so I made an urgent appointment where they are based. When we got there the worker said she wasn't comfortable because Amie was saying she wanted to end her life and told me to take her straight to hospital...the next day they came up to the ward and discharged her! Even after they had sent her up there in the first place! They are constantly contradicting themselves and 90% of the time what they are saying doesn’t make any sense. I am not sure how difficult the training is to become a CAMHS care coordinator but there needs to be a whole lot more going by the words that come out of their mouth.  A hard lesson of common sense would be a great start! 

The childrens mental health services are a complete shambles, I completely understand that they understaffed and are not receiving enough funding but this does not mean that they have to be rude, patronising, unhelpful, untrustworthy, sneaky and unprofessional. The staff that they have got should be doing their jobs correctly. These are children not just numbers in a system! 

CAMHS and other professionals are not happy that I have brought to light their failings in my daughters care and have had the nerve to say that I should be looking after Amie and not posting on social media! As if I am sat on my phone or the laptop when my daughter is distressed or is needing my care! Amie is also fully aware and on board with everything that I am doing because she is that desperate for help...we both are! The reason why I am doing this is so that I can get help for my daughter in any way possible because they are not giving her the care that she desperately needs! They have had me doubting myself if I am doing the right thing with all this campaigning and sharing Amie's life story etc but I got all the confirmation I needed when my daughter posted this on her social media...

1628187971_224977715_3009129289341796_8153470576883122451_n.jpg

I will do absolutely anything for my daughter and I can't wait to see her enjoying life again..me and my daughter are so so close and she is a beautiful, funny, strong and brave young girl who deserves to be enjoying her teenage years not wanting to end them! We are now used to her tics and are just part of what makes Amie so amazing! Other than the tic attacks where she harms herself, the rest of it is just funny. Having food or objects thrown at us or random words and sentences being blurted out we can cope with, just as many other people with Tourette's and tics manage every day. The rest of Amie's difficulties need looking at though and urgently! She is at constant risk of serious harm and is suffering so badly that she feels she has no option but to end her life.  

All money raised will be going towards her psychiatrist consultations and assessments, treatment, medication and therapy sessions. This will take months but we are determined to get her better and with your help she might be able to have some enjoyable teenage years!

The NHS CAMHS inpatient unit (tier 4 the cove) are denying Amie treatment that has been confirmed she needs by a fellow CAMHS psychiatrist! It was confirmed by the psychiatrist that she is not safe in the community and needs inpatient assessments! How the hell can they ignore that and tell us that we have to deal with it in the community?!! I am not going to just sit back and watch my daughters life come to an end due to being failed by the NHS CAMHS! 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you end up donating then we will be eternally grateful

You can donate here on Crowdfunder

Paypal - [email protected]

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/donate/537772760749453/

Thank you 

Samantha and Amie XX

Got an idea like this?

Over £200 million has been raised from our crowd to support the projects they love! Plus tens of millions more unlocked by our partners.