Hello. My name is Trish and I've written a book to help women to escape the hell of Domestic Abuse, rebuild their shattered self-esteem and change their lives for good. The video above is the preface of the book; the reason why this work is so very necessary.
I have experienced this myself, alongside so many other smart, intelligent women I know or have met throughout my life. Between us, we have spent countless years (many of us while raising our children through the most formative years of their lives) enmeshed in misery, heartbreak, intimidation, aggression, dominating & controlling behaviour, walking on eggshells, threats, anxiety and sometimes at risk of physical harm.
Having found my own detailed search for the guidance I'd so badly needed for so many years futile, when I finally made the break, I determined to address this absence of what I'd been so desperate to find as a woman, wife and mother by creating resources that would help other women to take back the power in their lives too.
I developed a 10 week intensive course, which has had truly exciting results with those women who have participated in the initial roll-out and I'm now just beginning to raise awareness about this as well as the newly completed book which is a companion to it. By comparison to the few other resources that are available to women struggling to keep themselves, life and family afloat in often excrutiatingly painful circumstances, this work doesn't focus on the man trapped in his own patriarchal hell and his abusive behaviour, but on the woman herself, empowering her with tools to create permanent positive change from the inside out - because these are the only kinds of changes over which any of us have ultimate control.
Although this is not exclusively a 'man on woman' problem, statistically there are many, many more women who are affected by Domestic Abuse than men. There are literally millions of women being persecuted by abusive men in every country around the world.
Just in England & Wales, 2 women are killed every week by a partner or former partner and 3 take their own lives just to escape it!
Countless millions of children are growing up all over the world seeing this day in day out, causing incalculable damage to their psyches and perpetuating the problem in myriad ways. This doesn't just affect individual families but whole communities. Because of the prevalence of this very serious undermining of the family unit, the whole structure of communities everywhere is negatively affected, with unfathomably large scale consequences that impact literally millions of lives including failure to thrive in education, low aspirations, low self-esteem & confidence, poor self-image, bullying, drug and alcohol abuse, depression, violence, social disorder, petty crime, social and educational exclusion, teenage pregnancy, the repeating patterns of abusive behaviour in children of domestically abusive homes and so very much more.
DA is truly a global epidemic and women need answers that can help them to reclaim their power to influence this horrifying reality. This book gives them the tools, wisdom and empowering encouragement to take back control over their own lives. It shows women how to take the power to hurt her (and her children) - whether verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually or otherwise - away from abusive men, bring it home to themselves and change everything from a position of new self-belief and self-respect; new resilience and conviction.
There are some very important and hugely empowering insights to gain in order to break deeply ingrained unconscious patterns of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that are embedded throughout early life and which can lead women into abusive relationships. This book takes the reader through a gentle, supported and powerful process to strip away the layers within herself, gain clarity about the dynamics that are going on out of her awareness and give her all the tools she needs to turn her life and relationship future around.
As it can take 12 months or more to publish in the traditional way, plus whatever time it takes to get the manuscript under the right noses, and then to secure a publishing deal, I want to take the self-publishing route. Unfortunately, funds are currently a little strained during the launch period of the course, which is deliverable online to support women leaving abusive relationships and rebuilding themselves and their lives from the ground up.
To get this work out at the earliest possible time and make it available to the women whose daily lives are made a living torment by abusive men who have yet to wake up to the horrors of patriarchy that they are inflicting on the women and children they claim to love; the unacceptable nature of the behaviours they have become habituated to using to get what they want and the responsibility they are each copping out of to behave in more appropriate and acceptable ways in their relationships with others, specifically in this case - women - I need help to achieve this.
To self-publish, I need a professionally designed cover (the one you see is a temporary mock up and a 'bookshop' worthy one is needed so that it will appeal to those women who need this kind of deep level, life-changing help); editing; proof-reading; layout and printing costs to start with a supply of 500 printed books. I intend to take up public speaking engagements during 2019 to raise awareness about the course and the book and offer hope to as many women as I can and use income generated from this to help fund getting the course and the book, free of charge, to the many, many women who don't have the means to access the kind of personal development work that will help them to break away from Domestic Abuse.
Here is an early review from the proof copy:
'Wow Trish - l have just finished reading...and although l have received the content from you previously (on the Everything Changed course), seeing it all written down in book form has had a tremendous impact...so much so that l found myself ‘doing the work’ all over again last night!
To try and distil my thoughts: l love your down-to-earth, warm and humorous approach. Your empathy comes through in every line, but with eminent practicality and without a grain of sentimentality. It feels as if you are walking alongside the reader, holding their hand, having a heart to heart, getting to the bottom of things, and not taking any excuses - with nothing but her very best interests at heart. The level of encouragement that you offer with your repeated assurances and reminders is so warm, and so necessary for anyone who is in emotional trauma. What l love about your style is that it is so accessible...you use the minimum of terminology, and yet it is still clear that you absolutely know what you are talking about - you are not seeking to dazzle with psycho-babble but to genuinely establish a connection. Things get especially real in Chapter 8 - l love the way you are ready with an answer for every well-worn excuse that can be trotted out...lovingly bringing the reader back to a recognition of the work that must be done in order to heal and evolve. I don’t think anyone could read this book and not be affected by it, even if they hadn’t personally been affected by abusive relationships, as it gives such an accurate insight into the dynamic behind such relationships, and how it feels to experience this. And somehow you manage never to come across as judgmental, which is a triumph - what is clear is your passionate level of caring for the future of humanity and the planet.
You should be so, so proud! l haven’t read anything of this calibre on this subject anywhere else. There is a very well-known book for anxiety sufferers written 40 years ago by a woman called Dr Claire Weekes, and your work reminds me of it - in the tone of understanding and empathy and clear, simple steps that you give to climb out of what seems to be a bottomless pit. I really meant it when l said how much l wish l had come across something like this years ago, when l was desperately trying to make sense of my situation...l think this could literally be a life saver. I am honoured to have been here at its inception. WELL DONE TRISH!!!'
If you feel you'd like to contribute, I will be so grateful for your support.
With love and gratitude,
ps: Once the target has been achieved to go ahead and publish, to help those women in need who are unable to access the book (or the course) due to financial hardship, I commit as follows:
For every £10 donation, I will gift 1 free book
For every £20 donation, I will gift 2 free books (to different women in need)
With every £10 incremental increase, I will gift 1 additional free book
For a £500 donation, I will gift one free book and 1 sponsored place on the Everything Changed course
For an £800 donation, I will gift 30 free books plus 1 sponsored place on the Everything Changed course
For a £1000 donation, I will gift 2 sponsored places on the Everything Changed course