I was diagnosed with depression in April 2019 and gave up working just before Christmas 2018. I have been claiming benefits for the last few months and wish to move off of them and back into work.
Suffering with depression is a horrible feeling and no one will ever know what it is like unless they themselves have suffered with it.
I feel totally useless and think about ending my own life daily. The only thing that keeps me alive is the thought of my daughter, and that thought is slowly slipping away. I need to bring myself back from the brink.
The only way I feel that I can do that is to start working again. At 38 years old I have done a wide variety of jobs in my past and consider myself to be a jack of all trades and master of none. Starting work again seems such a daunting task with this depression that I have.
In the 6 months before I stopped working, I was unable to hold a job down for any longer than a week. I had become very argumentative with my bosses and all the staff. I had become totally out of character.
Now all of these problems do still exist. So how then do I get a job and move forward with this depression that I have?
The answer is so simple, yet feels a million miles away. A million miles away because I am broke. I have nothing except my vehicle that needs repairs (Piston Ring, Welding to the underseal that can just be seen in photo beneath the back offside door and some new batteries).
The horror of losing my rented accommodation grows closer each day I am not working.
I need a job with no boss looking over my shoulder every 5 minutes. I need a job which will provide a relaxed atmosphere. I need a job that I can move at my own pace and not be ridiculed for it. I need a job that I can listen to the radio. I need a job that is both indoors and outdoors. I need a driving job using my own vehicle.
There are many owner driver driving jobs out there to start immediately, I just need a kick-start.
I am not looking to be a charity case, I just need a kick-start so I can earn my own living, provide for my daughter, pull myself back from the brink and hopefully kick this depression to the curb.
My vehicle is a Toyota Hilux king cab pickup truck 2.4TD EX 4x4 Y reg. With truckman top.
I am trying to raise £5000 to get my vehicle repaired and on the road. And then I can take it from there.
I estimate the cost's as follows:
Repairs = £2800
MOT = £70
6 months TAX = £130
6 Months Insurance (fully comp) = £1500
Unforeseen Repairs = £500
TOTAL = £5000.
I can't stand paying my insurance monthly, so I will buy a years premium and put the rest towards it via friends and family.
Your generous donations are much appreciated and can change my daughters life as well as my own. My main aim here is to have a chance to become independent once again despite my severe depression. I will of course keep this page updated as this project gets moving.
Thanks in advance.
My kindest regards, Johnny.