Hi, My name is Sam. For many years I have worked in other fields, until I became disabled, this severely limited my ambitions and had to leave certain industries (as originally my disability was from the workplace - I was not able to sue my workplace - I am now deaf) sadly years on I developed many chronic illnesses such as Fibromyalgia/ME/CFS/Diabetes/Vertigo and various other debilitating diseases that again limit what I can do, the pain is the worst and every day is a struggle just to get through the day. So my previous life of working many jobs and being fit and active is just....gone. Trying to adapt to this new life is a daily battle. But I am not the only one, you know the saying "everyone is fighting daily battles you know nothing about" well I hide mine well. But now I need to get over myself and ask for help when I need it.
I had worked my way up into management roles in other fields and now I cannot even get a job as a shelf stacker (trust me I have no ego and apply for anything). I lost my "pity job" a charity got me (for disabled people who are longterm unemployed) and will not be able to find work again now for the foreseeable future.
It is depressing to feel such a failure after once being successful, though during lockdown I realised the thing I want to do more than anything is set up my own business, and not have to hide my health or limitations, I want to get into photography (once a hobby of mine I won awards for, but couldnt see a future in) I can see a future now, it would give me back some freedom and independance, but I want to make it with a difference, I want to help others like me have the ability to make something of their lives without any limitations. I want to start my own business, build a good customer base and eventually take on trainees like me who struggle to fit into "normal society/employment". I want to eventually contribute to my community offering courses and training and projects.
It is very depressing to feel like you have lost your future (after working many years and working your way up) to feel you are on the scrap heap and useless. I have lost many job opportunities when disclosing my health conditions and honestly, it angers me, I now want to prove to the world I am not a write off and can make my own way in the world. Sadly from losing my job, becoming homless (now with relatives) I need a little help, the funding will fund me to buy equipment needed to start trading, and help fund a website to be built and PR.
But mostly the equipment (camera/computer/software/vehicle/anything I can get funding for really). I tried various funding schemes and places like the princes trust and just get denied, funnily enough though a guy on my 4day course on the princes trust for a £5000 grant to becoe a window cleaner (who knew ladders were that expensive, ha!) so I faced a LOT of rejection, so thought I would try here, I would love nothing more than to go to a camera shop, buy everything I need, and BEGIN. So I am here asking for help, any help at all is appreciated (even just words of advice) so thankyou for taking the time to read this and I hope this maybe works for me. Because I am losing hope of where my place in this world is and I need to climb off this scrap heap.