It's a teeth issue. Always problems with them. Never been able to smile. Since I was 11. I'm three decades older now. For years the solution has been to just clean it all up and replace the all stack. I am in this vicious cycle of not being able to go out and make it happen cause of the horrible self esteem due to my teeth and yet wanting to built myself up career wise but can't make myself go on full force. Everything is prepared and I just can't make myself go on. As a high functioning autistic and adhd person, I cant go very personal in my open request cause I wouldn't be able to handle the attention but I can communicate behind the scenes. Please help me to end this . I want a life and laugh with my mouth open over my stupid jokes and most of all , I would like to smile to my children. I cant be serious anymore.