In 2019 I had an idea of walking John O'Groats to Lands End I didn't realise it was even a thing people do! I'd already run the London Marathon, done 3 half marathons, and a walking challenge and was eager for a new one.... cue planning and roping in Sister ....more planning...then booking....then Corona virus.......then we're off......and back temporarily but back on it next year...........we're raising funds for the mental health charities that mainly work with young people in memory of Alex my No 1 Son who took his own life, seemingly out of the blue in November 2016.
Whilst Alex was living away from home he started to struggle with maintaining work, and began to isolate himself by ignoring messages or emails and this was a cause of frustration and puzzlement to his family. Despite trying to help him with the practicalities of life, he seemed to resist this, instead wanting to do his own thing.
Always handsome, with a gorgeous smile and the bluest of eyes, he was always quirky and dressed well, loved singing, playing the guitar, music generally and gaming. He was a reader of autobiographies such as Lewis Hamilton and Bob Marley and had a great giggle. One of his most endearing futures was he wide mouth grin and his love of Lidl baked items and the mysteries that surround Korean food.
Depression isn't always obvious. At least it didn't cross my mind that he was depressed. He lived with friends, he seemed to be coping ok. But also in the back of my mind I was worried, I had a niggle. The last time I visited his flat, assuming him to be in because I knew he wasn't working I could get no answer. I had drive the hour and a half to see him and take him for lunch with 2 bags of food shopping for him. I'd messaged and phoned but no answer. I knocked on the door and rang the bell, no answer. I went for lunch on my own, and kept trying, no answer. In the end I gave up and went home, puzzled, frustrated, concerned. But I still had no idea that he was so low. I just assumed he was out. He wasn't.
In his suicide note he left on his computer he said that he was in but that "if I had opened the door Mum would have known something was wrong". How I wish to the bottom of my heart that he had opened the door. Within a few days he was in intensive care clinging onto life and our world had been ripped apart. Our world, his parents, grandparents, siblings, friends is changed forever by this act. The act that said, I am a burden, I have achieved nothing, I have no wish to go on.
I will always feel like I let him down, I think of him every day. It is hard to think past the loss to the joy that he brought as a baby, toddler, teen and young man.
This fundraiser is to raise money for the charities that support other young people with their thoughts and feelings, with their loss of hope. Please support us as we endeavour to walk the length of the UK from JOG to LE over a period of a year, carrying all our kit in all weathers, challenging ourselves and having our own adventure.
We have already raised £8203.54 (£9366.71 with gift aid) on our former fundraising site VMG but that host has now ceased to exist (the charities already have this money) and we've raised in excess of £39000 since Alex died.
Please help us to increase the support for young people by supporting these charities.
As of August 2024 our overall total for this project is £16,535.20.
We are back on the trail for "Jogle - The Final!" on 3rd April and hope to be at Lands End around 20/21st April. We are so very excited, grateful and determined, but also sad at the impending end. After so long, seeing so much, experiencing so much, meeting such lovely people, we will finally be there! Wow!
Thank you all so very much for your support xxx
Suzanne (Mum) and Carolyne (Auntie) of Alex xxx