Make a better future for my little one

My name is Tina O'brien.I have had a very bad past and was involved in a toxic relationship. I was involved with domestic violence. I spent 10 years of my life wasted on a man I thought loved me. I was wrong. He was an absolute naccarist. Always belittled me, told me I was ugly, and fat and no other man would want me. I had plant pots smashed to my head, I was thrown down the stairs whilst expecting my little one. I was told to tell if anyone asked that I slipped down the stairs. My family disowned me because I chose to be with my childs father. I was all alone. No one to turn to. Many times I slashed my wrists and felt suicidal. I became depressed, and cried a lot. As my little girl started to understand that I was broken inside, it was her who wiped away my tears and told me to be strong. It was my little girl who is now 4 years old that hold my hand tight and said mummy everything will be ok. My ex left me in £30000 debt. He put so many loans in my name, and never paid a penny back. Now I'm in debt, but trying to support my daughter. It breaks my heart when I see the holes in her shoes when she goes to school. I keep telling her, mummy will buy you new ones when I can afford to buy it for her. She doesn't complain, she just strokes my hand and smiles. Whenever she sees other children with new things, latest gadgets, she always tells me. My friend has this, but I haven't. I just feel like a failure of a mum. I would like to get rid of the debts, start a new beginning and forget my violent past. Anyone who has been involved with demonic violence will understand my pain. I was kicked in the stomach whilst pregnant. It was the tiny little kicks inside that made me stand up and fight that pain. My head was smashed against brick walls. I had a new nose piercing, my ex didnt agree to it. So instead of telling me he wasnt happy. He punched me that hard till my nose pin fell out. My head was smashed into the glass table. I was told that if anyone asked what happened. I was to tell them i was drunk. In actual fact i never drank in my whole entire life. I was thrown out of the house in the middle of the night, whilst it was snowing heavily. My ex had no remorse feelings. It was all down to my ex having an affair with another woman, but wanted to find a reason to leave me. So he abused me non stop and told me I was useless. It is my daughter who makes me strong. I just want to provide her all the necessities which she needs. My ex has now married the woman whom he was having an affair with. Till this day he laughs in my face because of the debt he had left me in. I don't hate him, as having hatred for someone just shows that you still have feelings for them. I just want to stand up to domestic violence and let other women know they are not alone. Thank you for taking your time reading this