By naively living for others, I lost everything!

by Sam Koz (Charlie Grey) in Peterborough, England, United Kingdom

By naively living for others, I lost everything!

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£3,500 target 11 days left
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Keep what you raise – this project will receive all pledges made by 27th June 2024 at 2:45pm

To help me put order back in my life as quickly as possible, need a CAR again and to get OWN PLACE to take the stress off my poorly parents

by Sam Koz (Charlie Grey) in Peterborough, England, United Kingdom

I need your help, but before here is my background: 

Following years of absolute idiocy frameworked by the fact that I had left home age 16 with no real clue of how the world worked, expecting that it would all fall into place. Well it did kinda for the most part but living in Berkshire and attending theatre (which of course I adored) was such a magnet for an attention drama loving late teen. Needless to say that I didn’t do as well as I should have done on my college and Uni photography courses. This is a theme that I have adopted and used up until most recently in fact… my attention on things is so fractured that I very rarely follow things through. It wasn’t until 2018 that my life skills so far would be truly tested when I decided to leave my partner of over 6 and a half years from moving back to the Peterbrough area, based on lack of passion and intimacy etc for someone would control every aspect of my life for his own gain when he quite frankly loathed me… and just needed a roof over his head so he could lay low from the authorities and avoid any residential responsibilities. Because of my enthusiasm to make this new relationship work as hard as I could when all the signs from the start were against me… I ignored all of the warnings and advice from family and friends thinking all would fall into place. Believing all the spider webs of lies constantly spouted by my soon to be harrowingly abusive partner who I believe is a narcissistic sociopath and a has used so much cocaine that he is basically a crack head! Same characteristics and impulsive behaviour as well as constant lies and even thievery! Yes I was held under duress to take part in all shop lifting activities… he is just a very strong character and I must have enjoyed feeling needed and useful. But I went along with everything even though I hated myself for it! On top of everything else, many many incident occurred involving police friends, family smash windows culminating in bruises, cuts scars, breaking bones, including my cheekbone my ribs and dance to my head and most crucially, my finances. He was also very manipulative and controlling so much so it was mental abuse when he would say things like sit on the window latch and if you trust me, you know sit on the window even though sash window three stories up open.. I wouldn’t do it because I didn’t trust him and he said doesn’t matter I’ll write you a suicide note as you’re off work with depression anyway aren’t you… making out that I didn’t have any issues at all inside. He even tricked me eat his human waste once, whilst sat on the loo door open he said you have given me s**t for the past year. Now eat this from this bowl with sugar and bread. With a smile on his face I thought he was kidding and that it was melted chocolate twix maybe so I followed my order with a tiny bit and actually was faeces. He looked at me and called me hideous! With so many occurrences going to hospital on my own family not even knowing that I had broken bones that I basically died several times and he cheat on me constantly and denying it I’d fed suitcases with condoms everywhere dirty ones that he would deny it and save someone else’s suitcase and I stupidly believed it and I went along with everything because I felt trapped because he said that I had no choice to pay anything off that he’d got being Debt for because he was coming into inheritance and I don’t like money but he promised me that he would help me even left spit up he said he was gonna help me but then never did  and I retracted every single statement I did because I’m too nice. I will write this into a book 1 day, probably because it’s just part of my life and it’s good to get it off your chest as well but most importantly I’m saying at this crowd fund because I’ve had multiple problems since then and trying to find myself with parents getting poorly hasn’t been easy. I’m quitting everything now and getting new job but I need my pension. My pension gone. My car is gone. Everything is gone and I haven’t got much time really so I’m setting up the Crown and I’m telling everybody my hopes that they will donate a few pound or whatever they can to help me and my family. I owe my parents a lot of money also still myself as they have helped me so much through this whole period. Im worried as I don’t think I’ll probably pay it in time quick enough for them to really appreciate it because they are very poorly.
I lost my job also at Thomas Cook due to my ex. As I apply for new work and get my life together please consider donating to my fund as it will not only help me but also my mum and dad too. This is the only sure way that I will also be able to save again for my pension pot as I had it early from Thomas Cook due to ill mental health and had to get back stuff that I had lost. I want to try and raise as much as possible for a runaround 1 litre little car and money to enable me to pay off final bits on cards etc and move out. After my ex partner I got my pension early from Thomas Cook as I said and took voluntary bankruptcy so I didn’t have to think about the 18,000 also that was owed thinking about him the whole time for 5 or 10 years. Covid happened of course and I decided to do porn and escorting so I was surrounding myself with other people with mental health issues and depression and it just drained me nice to help at the same time. 

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