Restart Life

I’m adopted, so the few memories I do have of walking the streets and being in an orphanage keep me humble. I was given a great life after being adopted, and now I want to be able to give back. I’ve always felt I’ve never truly enjoyed life because always worrying about money and other peoples’ thoughts, and now I’m soon to be 35 and feel like I’ve not gotten as far as I should have. I don’t have an own home or flat, I don’t have a car and still want to learn to drive and pass. But at the same time, I want to give back to my friends and family who’ve helped me in life. There’s this immense guilt I don’t know why. I may be made redundant from work and that is scary, been in the same job since moving to the U.K. I work hard and now I’m suffering from severe physical pain from it but I keep going because living paycheck to paycheck is all I have. I’ve looked for other jobs and side hustles but nothing has worked out so far. Some days I just want to totally give up on life but something is keeping me here and I want and need to find out why. I’ve always wanted to be a millionaire and not just to be rich but to be able to help others, this money will help me be able to do that.