I am a second generation Muslim Bangladeshi diaspora member, underclass-to-working-class, non-binary, assigned and socialised as female Artist and Nurse, base in London.
I worked in the Emergency Department over the pandemic, experiencing burn out & PTSD. From psychotherapy, it became evident that my PTSD had exacerbated pre-existing traits of Attention Deficit Hyper-active Disorder (ADHD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), for which I am currently undergoing assessment for formal diagnosis in my late 20s.
I have been drawing since before I can remember and painting as a form of self-regulation since my nursing course, essentially teaching myself. I transformed this means of coping into a career as an artist over lockdown, investing in studio space and materials. Seeking and taking up opportunities from friends has led to shows and features on platforms such as Vice, i-D magazine, Azeema magazine and Creative Lives in Progress.
Now I have been accepted by Central Saint Martins on a course that offers the resources and facilities needed to fully bridge my careers in healthcare and the arts, I am calling on your support to make this a reality.
The Costs
I am crowdfunding for the full tuitions fees for the two year course, plus Crowdfunder’s fees to use this platform.
The course runs 3 days a week, requiring 30 hours. I aim to cover living costs and materials through working 2 x 12 hour nursing shifts per week. With 54 hours a week dedicated to study and work, I cannot afford to work anymore to generate tuition fees.
Because of the sensitive and personal nature of the research I intend to carry out regarding my PTSD and neurodivergence that I am in early stages of exploring, I will be doing psychotherapy costing approximately £3,000 a year. I was deemed unsuitable for therapy through NHS nursing work as I was assessed to be coping well enough through painting and sheer resilience. Being resilient is exhausting. Excess donations will go towards therapy and creative practice, including funding commissions and collaborations with other marginalised artists.
Access and Representation in the Arts
An artist’s work is to interpret, shift and inform culture. Because of its expensive nature in terms of time and resources, those of lower economic standing without generational wealth, disproportionately women, people of colour and those with disabilities, are hugely under-represented and our experiences erased.
As a child of migrants with limited English and what was a domestic violence household, my neurodivergence was not recognised until recently. My single-parent mother currently earns less than me. I've depended on the welfare state growing up and thought of education as a means of social mobility and security. I got a scholarship at the Cheltenham Ladies College to leave home and pushed my way through my government-loan-funded BSc. (Anatomy, Developmental & Human Biology) and PG Dip. (Nursing) that I am still paying off. I did not attend either graduation ceremonies, partly to save money, but truly because I didn't know what it meant to celebrate myself - I saw qualifications more as necessities for stability rather than achievements. I want to rectify this a third time around.
My proposed research title is "Art practice in neurodivergence and dissociative states as a means of self-regulation". I hope what I share in the end can allow for understanding and healing for those who connect with my experiences.
I know many are struggling with the cost of living right now, so if you are not able to donate (please take care of yourself!), sharing this could mean it ends up in front of someone who is in more of a position to give. Your support, big or small, is massively appreciated. Thank you for reading.
- Fawzy