NOT JUST A MAN
- In the UK, men are 3 times more likely to take their own life, compared to women; this is entirely preventable. Not Just A Man is a platform that will reach the “everyday man” with the sole aim of bettering his mental, physical and spiritual health. It will comprise of a website with daily tips, blogs, access to podcasts and materials, weekly men’s sharing circles, 3-month transformation programs and men-only retreats.
- The Mission is simple: to significantly reduce male suicide rates across the world through open and honest conversations.
Why Do We Need This Platform?
Be a man. Act like a man. Men don’t cry. That’s not masculine. A man is/isn't supposed to [insert bull**** statement here].
Phrases like this plagued me and I know many men feel the same. What does it even mean to be a man/masculine anyway? It’s time we worked together to undo the stereotypes, stigma and social pressures responsible for shaping a world where “toxic masculinity” is rife. Now I use this phrase with caution; it’s been thrown around to label all kinds of behaviour. The world I want to shape is one where men aren’t comfortable expressing their emotions, don’t understand why they react the way that they do and in turn, act out in ways that damage themselves, their communities and their relationships.
My Story
I'm a man passionate about growth. My dream is to change the taboo around masculinity, to demolish "toxic masculinity" and build a platform for men to speak up and grow into their fullest potential.
I grew up in a world where it was frowned upon to be "weak", to cry or show emotion and had to support my mother and sister (at least at an emotional level) at a young age, whilst trying to grow as a person, discover who I am, navigate the world of dating and relationships, become “successful” and actively participate in relevant social circles. Without realising, I found myself stressed, unable to communicate how I felt, I became angry, began jumping from relationship to relationship (and job to job), and ran away from difficult conversations as they arose. I found that I frequently disappeared into “man cave”, a safe space which usually meant a hotel or somewhere far away from responsibility when it all became a little too much. In a nutshell, I suppressed most of my feelings, building irrational internal dialogue and then lashed out when it all became too much.
I've spent the last 5 years really trying to grow as a “man”, to understand my emotions, to talk about them, to share and be vulnerable and to unlearn a lot of the conditioning and programming I've held on to since my childhood. The sole purpose, from a personal point of view has been to have a better relationship with myself and those around me.
How was I ever going to be the best son, brother, friend, boyfriend when I had so much internal conflict? Who am I? What do I stand for? Why don't they understand me? Why am I not respected? How do I always seem to get it wrong? How can I be perfect? Why am I not loved? Why do I cheat? Why can't I communicate how I'm really feeling? Why am I not fulfilled? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
These questions followed me for years and to some extent they still do, but I'm now in a place where I want to work with other men to become the best possible versions of themselves and I want to grow with them.
I'm in no way a counsellor, but what I am building is a community, a safe place for men to talk, share and be vulnerable without shame or judgement.
Not Just A Man, is for every man, not just the "spiritual" type or the "hippy"- no, this is for the city banker, the builder, the IT technician, the landscaper, the entrepreneur, the married man, the single man, gay, straight, trans, non-binary, who cares - we’re all men.
What Are You Funding?
Your funds will help shape mankind and I hope you agree that this is a worthy cause.
- At first, your pledge will help to create a website (and everything that comes with it), and the creation of all materials, podcasts, videos, articles and blogs.
- Next, I will be marketing what I do to reach out to as many men as possible
- To visit the platform
- To join weekly men’s sharing circles, programs and retreats
- Your funding will also contribute towards specialists to support the running of the circles, programs, workshops and retreats
I truly thank you for your support; please share this as far and wide as you possibly can so that we can build a world of conscious men together.
Adil x