***UPDATE!!!***
8.10.24 - I've closed this Crowdfunder now as we've got about as much as I think we'll need for a deposit/removal van. Update pinned to the top of my FB Profile page. Thank you everyone. So, so much!!
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This is not an easy ask. This entire thing is something I've thought about doing for a few years now but something has always stopped me. Embarrassment, judgement, shame, my pride? Is it "scrounging" to ask people for help? Is it going to make people think I'm unable to provide for myself and my child? Am I really so useless? "Get a job, then!" One of those things? All of them? It's not a nice ask, either. But unfortunately, its suddenly become a very necessary and urgent one.
Many of you will have seen Vin's brief post the other week on Facebook. It was not up very long, as I told her to take it down as soon as I saw it, but it was there long enough for us both to get flooded with messages of concern, advice and offers of all kinds of help. To those people, thank you. I declined all offers of any financial help because, at the time, I had no idea what we were going to do.
This has all happened so fast and is still so overwhelming, that all I could do then was join Vin on her immediate and indefinite visit to her grandparents, to get some space and clear my own head. I came back this week, Vin is currently still there, with her grandparents and refuses to come back to Cambridge. I miss her so much! I have to be in Cambridge now to sort everything out… and there is SO much to sort out... The worst part of it all is that I can't give Vin a definite date of when everything will be sorted and when we can both begin to rebuild our new lives together. All I can tell her is, "I'm doing my very best" and "Soon". Anyone with experience of an autistic person will appreciate how really hard and unsettling that must be for her!
Chris and I have split up. For good. Irrevocably so. It has been a long time coming and the damage done, after an incident at home recently, now makes it impossible to work anything else out. I have no other realistic choice now but to take Vin (and the pets!) and move out as soon as possible. I should have done this years ago really; properly, taking my time, with more planning and more money; before it got to this point. I see that now but I always had hope that things would improve for all of us. I think we all hoped that. In retrospect all that happened is that things kept getting generally, progressively worse, until the inevitable final straw a couple of weeks ago.
The plan now is to move to Ellesmere in Shropshire as soon as we can. Just Vin, me and the pets. It's a safe place where Vin's dad grew up. She has a lot of Daniel's family around there, her grandparents live there, so she will always have that immediate family support (something she's not had locally, since we lived in Newcastle when she was 3!). It just makes sense to settle there. Plus, it's a beautiful part of the world and she's fallen in love with it during her current, indefinite stay!
The priority right now is, of course, finding us somewhere to rent in Shropshire as soon as possible and having the funds available to make an immediate deposit and (hopefully a couple of) months rent on a place to live!
Making this move is a desperate change and will be expensive. I have about £1200 saved. I have a whole load of stuff (mostly the vintage dresses I bought years ago to resell online!) that I can eBay. It's a pain to keep a track of while I pack up our stuff, search for a new home, book removal vans, concentrate on what has to be done now, but it may well generate a few more hundred quid.
After the move, I'll still need to buy other essentials: A fridge, a freezer, a sofa, a washing machine… All of which I can get second-hand but it is still going to be costly! These are things that we couldn't bring from Cornwall and that Chris bought brand new when we moved to Cambridge, so they belong to him. I literally have very little left of what I used to own before moving to Cambridge two years ago!
If any of you could manage anything at all towards this unexpected and sudden move, I would be so grateful! I know that none of us have any spare money really these days. I know that there's a very real cost of living crisis and that we are all struggling, so PLEASE don't feel obligated to donate!!!
I just thought I'd set one of these up because at the time that this all happened two weeks ago, a few people wanted to help us financially and I politely declined those every kind offers. Having had the time and space to work out wtf we are going to do now, I realised that maybe this could be an answer to one of the biggest hurdles... just in case anyone could possibly help us now, no matter how small the favour!
If you can, thank you! If you can't, please don't worry!
Anything left over (should I raise any more than I actually need) I will donate to a charity of Vin's choosing… it will no doubt involve animals. Or babies. Or baby animals!
Never thought this would be me and my kids story… but here we are. It's overwhelming, very sad and ridiculously heartbreaking but it's what has to happen now.
***EDIT*** I've set the target deliberately low because I'm already embarrassed to ask for money and literally anything will help towards the cost of all of this! I'm not expecting miracles and I wouldn't be so crass as to set an ideal "goal" for something that is not what some might consider "a worthy cause". I'm just grateful for your support and understanding at this point!.
Thank you to all of you for everything. Always.
Lisa xxx