About Me, the Book, and What I’m Building
Hello! I’m Johnny Carol — I’m a writer, songwriter, and final-year law student at the University of Cambridge. I’ve always written, but The Wheels on the Bus is something different. It’s strange. It’s satirical. It’s occasionally bleak, often ridiculous, and (I hope) sharply funny. It’s the kind of book that doesn’t follow a neat line. It spins — until it doesn’t.
This novel is a darkly comic, dystopian account of how the Earth literally stopped turning, told through the voice of a fervent, bureaucratic narrator with questionable allegiances. It's Orwell meets absurdist theatre, with a little Wes Anderson, Vonnegut, and a late-night political rant thrown in for flavour. The aim is to build something that feels funny, surreal, and haunting — a story that’s silly on the surface but full of quiet horror just beneath.
Here’s the thing: I love writing this book. It makes me laugh at my screen in the early hours of the morning. But I’m graduating soon, and unless something changes, I’ll need to find a way to keep writing while paying rent and affording coffee. If you believe in strange, offbeat fiction, in satire that bites and sings and collapses into laughter — then I’d love your support.
Funds raised will be used to give me the time to finish the novel (it’s currently 15,000 words and growing fast), get it edited and typeset properly, create physical and digital versions, and potentially self-publish if no publisher picks it up — or just keep creating, full stop. If this one finds an audience, I'd love to write more like it.
What You're Supporting
To help you get a sense of the tone and style, here are three short passages from the book:
From Chapter 42: No more lies
... As confirmed by Mr Lemmon, everyone suffered a momentary collapse. And, as I’m sure you can imagine, a planet going from seven hundred and fifty-two miles per second to zero — suddenly — caused an unimaginable catastrophe
And that it did. Everyone fell over on their heads. Their heads went down with an almighty thump, much louder than the noise of the rope-9 hitting the moon.
I have met many survivors who are confused as to where the then government officials went after stagnation-day. What Mr Lemmon saw was this: while most had been either nipping to the shops, or petting their dogs when the planet stopped spinning, chance would have it that the whole of the then government — bar those who represented our great and altruistic government — were at a coordinated bungee jump event.
So yes, while most simply slipped over and bumped their head, the whole of the then government wobbled and slipped from the 200ft high platform they were about to bungee jump from when the planet stopped a moving. And they all died, equally and simultaneously. They truly did take a leap of faith.
And Mr Lemmon saw the bodies himself, unconscious and scattered. He even took pictures. If we ever find the key to his shed, we’ll release them. Until then, take Mr Lemmon’s word...
From Chapter 50: Henrietta, the land lady
...The part demised to me per Henrietta’s leasehold agreement was a quaint flat overlooking Hyde Park, New New York (formerly Brighton). In fact, I am writing this sitting over the bay window, overlooking the park. And I can see the children running around in the moonlight, playing without chains, totally free to do as they please.
I presume they are playing the government issued game of ‘what do we think about the great and idiosyncratically sagacious government’. I presume this because they are all smiling. As the name quite aptly suggests, the game is one which promotes critical thinking and gratefulness. Children take it in turns to say one aspect which they adore about our society, and why it is great, and how it could be even better.
They continue to go around in circles until one child’s mind falters. That child is then chased by the others, and under the group’s discretion, they can choose whether to entrap the child on the ground while they think of another great aspect of life, or let them silently sit and ponder, and return to the group having explained themselves.
Just now, I see one child bolt away from the group. He must have faltered momentarily. The other kids, dressed identically, start to chase him, all laughing maniacally. Like a lion running from the jaws of a meerkat, the fleeing child eventually ran out of steam, and the meerkats collectively pounced on him...
From Chapter 37: Who let that goose loose
The goose tied end had actually fallen onto someone’s thanksgiving table, and that someone’s uncle had eaten the goose mistaking it for a turkey. Thus, the bottom of the rope was anchored down, coming out of that man’s stomach, up his windpipe and out of his mouth.
And, as the bottom end now remained in a fixed location, the top end began to be pushed by the wind in space. And space is very windy. When you walk up a mountain, the wind gets, well, windier. So, the higher up you go, logic tells us it must get even windier. Our Scientists have come up for the wind in space, they call it a ‘vacuum’, no doubt because when you put a vacuum near your face it blows a lot of wind at you. Yes, space is very windy.
The wind was blowing north easternly towards Saturn. The rope was, therefore, sent that-a-way, and it started to bend rightwards as it left the earth’s gravitational field. It was at this moment that the rope crashed into one of the dead monkeys the then government had sent into space. They did this because they hated animals and would make them suffer for no apparent reason.
And like throwing a coin at a bullet mid air, the rope was deflected into a new path. This new path was in direct alignment with the then moon...
One Last Note
If you've ever felt like the world stopped spinning — literally or metaphorically — this might be the strange little story you didn’t know you needed.
Thank you for reading. Thank you more if you donate. Even if you just share this with someone who loves words, that means the world.
Please contact me about any queries you have - it can be anything whatsoever!! I have also send you further passages or the start of the book if you would like to see more before donating! My contact email is: [email protected]
Much love,
Johnny!
(Oh, and below is an idea of the front cover! It won't let me add the picture in full, so if you'd like to see it email me! I will run a competition to design the front cover for people who kindly donate!)
