Are you tired of watching men, admittedly sometimes very good-looking ones, hog all the adventure programmes on TV? We all know the ones: man walks across South America (with Dr. in tow) and we go, "oh, wow!"; three men do stupendous things happen-stance-dly contrived and we applaud them. Two men go fishing and tell us all about how exciting it is. Man looks up at sky and determines which way is West and then heads off in the correct direction (SatNav instructs me to head west and I'm baffled).
When women go travelling it is to show off hotel amenities. Usually in a pretty bikini. I promise not to do this.
So, if like me, you're wondering why men have all the fun, I am here offering to redress the balance. And be just as entertaining with it. I'm also invisibly middle-aged - leaving me to hope the bears don't notice me either. I'm already ready to go: I have several pounds of cake stuffed into my right thigh, cheesy chips in my left and at least of gallon of ice-cream located around my belly button.
MY CV
I am, for the most part, an idiot. I once accidentally drunk-purchased a jetski. Once sober, I then fronted it out by actually attempting to be the first woman to jetski around the UK .
Hence, I am the first woman to fail to jetski around the UK, having managed only 75% of it.
I am also inclined to get lost frequently and have no sense of direction. Need more practice. For example, once went up this lane four times looking for my destination.
In 2019, whilst 44, fat and smoking around twenty cigarettes a day, I watched the film "Wild" and said the immortal words: "I could do that!".
'That' being a 1,000 mile hike across a chunk of America. Turns out to hike the entire Pacific Crest Trail, one has to buy enough trainers to last 2,653 miles.
Embarrassingly enough, those words I have heard many, many, many times since. Fact: unlikely.
The Pacific Crest Trail is officially the world's longest trail. In 2020, I did it. First attempt. Alone. Mostly. And to make it as challenging as humanly possible: a global pandemic broke out.
I got proper skinny!
Then I came back, grew up, got on with life, got a proper job...None of that is true.
Having undertaken 21% of my suggested lifetime's exercise, I figured I deserved a good lie down. So I wrote a book, after which I wanted to shout my accomplishment to anyone with at least one ear. I contacted all the obvious mainstream media outlets - as did friends.
I saw less tumbleweed in southern California.
Consoled myself by reading the news instead.
There's a few epic journeys, like Diana Nyad's 110-mile swim from Cuba to Florida"which really highlight the difficulties women face getting sponsorship and support. Thankfully, I did not think "I could do that!" even though I am at least a decade younger than she was when she succeeded.
I love watching people accomplish things - but there is a real dearth of stories of women "doing stuff" - particularly alone and particularly amongst my age-group.
THE WHAT?
The Continental Divide Trail has everything the PCT has: rattlesnakes, poisonous plants, mountains, pinecones the size of your head and possibly one or two people needing an interview with the FBI, but it comes with added grizzly bears and Yellowstone.
Moreover, very few people tackle it each year - which means I will probably go mad with loneliness. It doesn't have the popularity of the PCT (except during a pandemic when it was desolate.
I will not be taking a personal doctor nor a team of camera people. I promise not to drink any pee.
And asking for financial support is probably the scariest thing I have ever done. Most women are familiar with the Harvard Business Research of 2014: Men will apply for a promotion if they meet 60% of the criteria, women however wait until they have can answer yes to 100% of it.
I'm being more man! It's probably just the drop in oestrogen.
Thank you for reading this far.