Trigger Warning: Domestic abuse and extreme violence.
Foreword
A few years back I lived in a Refuge for six months, following a string of abusive relationships. Hiding black eyes, covering up bruises, trying not to limp and other coercive behaviour had become my life for over a decade. At one point I found myself running through the streets covered in my own blood, in fear of my life - my only protection was a small bush to hide behind. Things got worse after that...
I managed to get out of that situation. But ending the relationship isn’t always the end of the story; many families have to leave behind everything they know in order to find safety and rebuilding their lives isn’t easy.
- Carrie Griffiths, Project Leader
Domestic abuse is sadly as prevalent as ever. According to Refuge, the charity that supports and houses women and children fleeing abuse "around 1 in 4 women in England experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. 1 woman a week is killed by their partner every 5 days." Some women are so brainwashed and isolated that they end up returning to the relationship. In many cases violent men are known to the police but little or nothing has been done.
This is why giving back is so important to me.
For the past three years I have organised an annual gig, in collaboration with South London Punk Collective, to raise funds for Refuge, one of the biggest charities that supports and house women and children fleeing from domestic abuse. We’ve raised almost £3,000 over the three gigs, money which was donated straight to Refuge.
This year we are unable to hold the gig, for a number of reasons. Instead I would like to do something more direct...
The Project: The Divine Uplift
I am combining my skills with two amazing women to offer Empowering Singing Workshops for survivors of domestic abuse. Peyton Vega is a singer, karaoke host and founder of West London Event Co., Jennifer Roblin is an Anxiety Therapist who appeared on Ferne McCann: My Family and Me, on ITV. We plan to host a full day workshop; I am hoping to then then deliver a weekly 60- minute session for a further 10 weeks.
These are not standard singing sessions: What makes this project truly unique is the system behind it - drawing from our more than fifty combined years studies, knowledge and experience, we have carefully crafted blend of the most effective learning and personal development methods from around the world, drawing from elite vocal training techniques including those used by Michael Jackson’s own vocal coach, alongside cutting-edge approaches to mindset, anxiety management, embodiment, and self-expression. It’s playful, practical and proven - built to make and impact and work for people from any background. It’s an unusual approach that works particularly well in creative settings.
The women will be taken through vocal warm ups and technical exercises and fun, dynamic activities to build confidence, improve communication skills and get creative. All of these things will give the them a chance to be themselves rather than being in constant survival mode, the tools to be able to speak their truth without fear and set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty.
The full-day workshop also give them a chance to get some much-needed time away from the refuge that isn't a meeting with a lawyer, or a counselling session; both helpful but can be draining. The weekly sessions will provide ongoing support and a chance for the women to clear their heads in what can be a very scary and confusing time.
Support like this would usually cost upwards of £10,000 to access, but we're able to offer this at a fraction of the normal cost in order to help vulnerable women and, thereby, their children and the wider community.
If this project is successful we will be in a good position to raise funds for further projects in the future.
Afterword
Domestic abuse is often generational: my grandfather was a particularly abusive man, emotionally, physically and sexually. He sadly murdered my grandmother before committing suicide, I often wonder if, had Refuge been around when my grandmother died, she might have been saved. This is why I continue to raise awareness funds for Refuge.
Thank you for your interest and your donations over the past three years. With your help we can continue to make a difference to women and children fleeing domestic abuse.
Carrie Griffiths xx
Carrie Griffiths Jennifer Roblin