Why?
3 weeks ago I found my best friend (to preserve his and his wife's privacy I will be calling him John) hanging from a tree. I got him down and performed CPR on him while alone for 30-40 minutes before ambulance services arrived but they say it was too late by the time I found him. The funeral is in a couple of weeks time.
People think that this is the result of the stereotypical "men don't talk" narrative but that wasn't the case for John. We did talk, regularly, and neither of us let each other get away with the "I'm OK" diversion tactic. We knew when things weren't right and we knew how to get each other to talk.
This happened because there was little to no urgency to get him the help he needed. He had called and felt that the services he spoke to about needing help either rejected his cries for help or promised something that they later did not deliver on.
Please don't misunderstand I don't mean to discredit the services that are available. I am merely pointing out that he wanted help and had asked for it. He just didn't know where to look.
What?
John was a big fan of car's and car meets. He owned a VW Golf R which he had personalized and treasured. He regularly participated in local car meets and kept in contact with some over social media.
John, me and his brother-in-law (who is also a fan of these same things) had regularly spoken about a trip around the UK when I was able to buy a car that I could enjoy the journey in. The plan was to do it this year. However, we will no longer be able to do so the three of us.
So me and Johns brother-in-law as part of our grieving process decided we would like to do it in his honor. As we were planning it and discussing the difficulties of doing this without our third man we decided we would like to do it in efforts to raise awareness of mental health difficulties among those in the car community. It is a community full of young men who are at high risk of suicide so a perfect place to increase awareness and connection between local mental health services.
How?
We have planned a route, some of which passes through some of John's old neighborhood in the Milton Keynes area. The route then goes up through North East UK to the border of Scotland before coming back down through the lake district and around the outside Wales before finishing in the South West of England.
Before setting off we will be in contact with local car clubs, mental health services and authorities to arrange meets at the various stop offs. These meets will designed so that local men and women are able to see what offers and support are available to them in their own areas. It follows a pattern that they are familiar with, being a car meet at a local designated area, but allows the conversation to be a positive step in the right direction.
The problem
The issue is that I do not yet have a car with which to do it. Neither do I have the time to get the money together if doing the event this year. Now I firmly believe that suicide is a pandemic that is as resilient as any mainstream illnesses we are told about so I want to do this as soon as possible.
So I am asking for your help to be able to buy a car to do this trip with. I do not need a brand new car. I simply need a car that I can use to turn heads and bring attention to the project with.
We NEED to reduce the grip that suicide has on people. This is one way we can combat it.
The reward
There will be the philanthropic answer of the reward being knowing you are helping to combat the suicide pandemic. But sadly philanthropy rarely achieves real results in the modern world. So I am prepared to offer real time rewards too.
These rewards will range from special thanks or shout outs written onto the cars livery to me offering my services as an app designer/publisher.
As part of my day job (which involves connecting local people with local mental and physical health services) I learnt how to create an app and have published it under my employers name. Search for Unbreakable Men to get an understanding of a basic app. My skills have developed since then and I can offer more advanced apps for those who would like to contribute certain amounts.
Any surplus I receive and do not spend on the car will be spent on the actual project which I will be raising another crowdfund for once I have the car.