40 & F***ed!

by Mistress Lady Layla in Bromyard, England, United Kingdom

40 & F***ed!

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£75,000 target 3 days left
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Keep what you raise – this project will receive all pledges made by 11th August 2022 at 11:51am

I'm an artist, I study human behaviour through sexuality. My aim is to create a visual body of work, along with a book, and ongoing research

by Mistress Lady Layla in Bromyard, England, United Kingdom

Introduction

I am an artist and study human behaviour through sexuality and I am really interested what it is, to be human in this time and compare it to many different cultures.

I explore the human condition through sexuality and as an Artist, my work is concerned with Sociology, Journalism and bringing this into the Fine Art context. It’s my ambition to create a visual body of work along with a book combining all my finds through extensive research, which is still on going.

My work looks at our liberation and loss and I am more on the side of loss.

I wondered about human relationships, intimacy, vulnerability and ultimately love, where are we really heading….

My fight is human relationships, connectivity and love.

I use my body as the catalyst to capture many things through this research.

What I am doing

I always felt that I saw and felt things slightly differently to others and I feel things very strongly. I recently have been diagnosed with ADHD and one of the contributing factors is creativity and taking risks... so this project, seemed inevitable and I have previously worked as a carer with learning disabilities for around 18 years.

I see my body as the human experiment and I put it through many things, with the idea of travelling in and through these experiences, while i'm documenting them as art and relating that back to you, the audience!

How it started

In my 40’s I came out of a very dysfunctional relationship, I started to study his behaviour and realised we need more awareness of recognising mental health conditions and how awareness is sadly lacking.

I then began internet dating and realised there was a void and separateness, from ourselves and to each other. Through these dating apps I encountered the hook up culture, men that have relations with trans women, men with p*** addiction that used swinging clubs. I decided I would go with them, to experience what they do, and document my findings.

This led me onto working as a s*x worker as I felt this would give me access to this sub culture that is very much hidden from societal norms.

I completed a Fine Art degree in 2011 to 2013 and by the end I was exploring sculptures, objects of s*x and creating something sacred or irreverent from them. I had a strong urge to complete a masters, to continue on in my research and practise, which I completed this is 2018, my work through my masters degree became more practical based.

For my masters work placement, I attended parties of a s*xual and transactors nature to collect more research. I also made interviews at these locations and I made a great film about a Transgender s*x worker, zine (participatory) from one of my submissives, photography, objects that I used as a s*x worker and I displayed these at my Masters Exhibition in 2019.

My final goal is to create a visual body of work and a book as well as hopefully one will support the other.

How the work evolved

For the book I wanted to write about my life as it unfolded, life inside an art school, meeting all the characters I have and making participatory work with them, being a s*x worker, Dad developing dementia and then covid19, making a documentary film about the transgender s*x worker and layering this footage that I had made on my camera phone and being raped by the film maker as I wanted bruises for the film (and how the art school didn’t even care that I was raped for this piece of art) and so many other things. It journals my life over a 3 year period. The book gives me the opportunity to tell a story behind the visual art.

At what point does rape become art and nobody even questions it.

The book covers many stories from my observations, conversations, things I have witnessed, sound, recordings, film etc.

I always wanted to use my own voice to tell my story, and to give others the opportunity to tell theirs. For example I have a blog site on my Mistress web site and you can see some of the stories on there, true life accounts, my experiences, as well as my subjects.

You are welcome to read some of my blogs on my web site, I write about artists that I feel have contribute to my inspiration, and the same with philosophers, and including true accounts from men I have worked with.

My sessions

My research has been quite startling as a sensual dominatrix. Initially I became a s*x worker to gain insight and research but has time has passed I have created sessions which have elements of  sensual domination, tantra and a more holistic approach, a release of s*xual energy, ending in a very positive outcome.

Men come to me with kinks/fetsihes, trauma, s*xual arousal problems, sometimes addictions, a need for release, exploratory reasons of a bisexual nature, feminisation, somebody to listen to them, to switch off, hand over control and ultimately be present.

My goal is to create sessions that embody warmth and connectivity!

The men are blindfolded for the whole duration and entirely trust me with their bodies and often they get goosebumps and have a strong feeling of contentment.

I feel there is really something worth pursuing and this could be a good alternative for women doing escorting. I would love to educate other s*x workers and show that this is possible for a sustainable fee, and with HPV on the rise this is a safer and cleaner practise.

I see a lot of men who have visited a lot of escorts and they want to experience pleasure in a different form and are really open to it, I genuinely feel like they re looking for a release on a more unconscious level, not just s*xual.

So far I have funded everything and this is what I have completed...

1. Completing a degree and masters in Fine Art

2. Documenting what life is like inside an art school

3. Setting myself up as a s*x worker under 2 names, Layla and Charlie Suede and running a business

4. Making a film about a transgender s*x worker

5. Making interviews from couples who work in the s*x industry and how they negotiate this terrain and others

6. Creating a zine with a client who gave a detailed and insightful look into his mind and inner world as a submissive and his fantasy vs his reality

7. Working as a mistress in Istanbul

8. Documenting my life as it enfolds and dad dying of covid and family dynamic and getting through covid

9. Creating a series of work called the envelope task, asking my clients to make work and asking s*x workers to contribute letters to this also

10. dogging

If you want to take a look at my blogs, that are documenting my findings, please visit my website www.mistressladylayla.co.uk 

Things left to do

1. Visiting Studio Black Fun in Berlin and visiting a mistress there, myself as the submissive and have a session with her with clients in Berlin and understanding their s*xual culture

2. Working in a brothel as a s*x worker (unsure of which country yet)

3. Researching sexuality in Tokyo/Japan

4. Taking Iboga in Gabon with the Bitwi people in a traditional 10 day ritual

5. Ending it in Matisse chapel in France

In my research I came across a drug in Gabon called iboga. Taking this drug, I feel is crucial to the experiment as I feel I am using my body as the human experiment and if this can help others for a true insight then my work will be done.

I have always been fascinated in neuroplasticity and I wanted to see if the brain can be rewired. I have suffered some trauma in my life, poor sleep, perhaps some food addiction, a mind full of many things and I too feel overloaded. I feel like I am in need of a spiritual and emotional cleansing but I never thought it was actually possible.

This drug was founded in Gabon and the Bitwi religion has evolved from it and is now is used across the world and is a healing psychoactive drug and is primarily used for drug addiction but many other things too. When a person takes Ibogine the drug is converted into a compound called Noribogaine which targets the areas of the brain effected by drug seeking and addictive behaviours. Noribogaine rewires these areas, allowing the brain to restructure itself to a state similar to before addiction was triggered. It has a 50% to 80 % success rate. Iboga is used to treat many things, such as; reducing opiate and alcohol tolerance, It can help people recover from PTSD and studies have shown that Ibogaine influences the chemicals in the brain which influences rapid eye movement during sleep.

One of the main issues associated with trauma are night terrors and this dilemma impairs a person to enter one of the most vital sleep cycles, a cycle which is responsible for restoring a persons natural chemical makeup responsible for happiness and serenity. The Ibogine helps this process by activating systems in the emotional part of the brain, which is most active during infancy

The thoughts and feelings come from within without any outside influence and the person gains perspective from their past, present and future and so it works on a biological and psychological  level.

I want to see if I can reform my own neural pathways as I feel I would like to see what is possible. I am not a drug addict but I have experienced some traumas, suffer with poor sleep, would this drug alter anything.

I wondered if as an average women of a certain age, what would the results be on me and how in-turn could this information help others?

The ending

After going here I would like to travel to a restorative place of complete relaxation and then end the book in Matisse’s chapel in France, the chapel is called The Rosary Chapel in Vence in France. He built this chapel when he was dying and built it for the nun who looked after him and this was considered his masterpiece. The chapel is a spiritual place, and is a palpable love for the human condition. Matisse was said to be looking for peace for all his life and it feels like the right place to end this journey.

After I will need money to live on whilst I try to publish the book and start to exhibit my work. I would have to give up my job as a carer with disabilities and if the art did come out they wouldn’t employ me. I would like to raise around £50k in the hope of establishing myself as a visual artist and author

I have personally put a huge amount of time, energy and money (and emotion) into this project but I just need some financial assistance and I genuinely believe this project could potentially help many people.

The trip for Gabon would be around 5k just for the drug and I would like to pay for somebody to accompany me and document it and I now need to pay for Berlin and Tokyo and France.

So I am asking for 75k plus in total

Thank you


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