my wish is to carry on building things for people

by john in Shrewsbury, England, United Kingdom

my wish is to carry on building things for people
Not quite
Unfortunately this project was not successful.

I want to carry on building things for people but the risk of injury using these old worn out machines makes it unlikely to happen,

by john in Shrewsbury, England, United Kingdom

where do I start, years ago I was a victim of a sexual assault when I was only 6 years old, but I shall not go any further with that

 needless to say, it's affected me ever since,

in later life, I had a mental breakdown which led me to tell my wife,

 only then she realized why I have drastic mood changes and

 violence towards any bloke who pushed my buttons, thanks to my wife and advice from my 

the doctor I went through horrible 

counseling and psych evaluations,

 with all that, they came to the conclusion  I was diagnosed with

 manic bipolar depression,1610644194_1610644192877.png

 then after that, the docs and physiologists tried me on through all sorts of medication at me to see which works

 for but some of the meds pushed me further into darkness, many attempts to take my life but thankfully failed, because of my mental health,

plus medications I cannot work for anybody, so I decided to make things to make a few pennies, I love creating things from wood that makes people smile, the smile means much more to me than any monetary value of what has been made, people know me for making quirky items for there gardens as you can see from the few pictures,

 here and there but my problem is the tools I use are too old and have no safety measures whatsoever,

 the amount of times I have caught my fingers with these things is stupid, but I always manage to stitch things back together,

 things back together, usually I know if its a bad injury or not, so a few weeks ago I caught my thumb in my old cross saw,

 I knew this was not going to be a DIY fix by the fact my thumb was in two pieces, but the ironic thing about this is i 

was partway building something as a tribute to our NHS, I want to carry on building things for people but the risk of 

injury using these old worn out machines makes it unlikely to happen,

my wish is to carry on building things for people and making them smile is that too much to ask? 

I just wish there was some kind generous person or people that could help me acquire some more tools that are safe to use,

 the only other option is to carry on using old outdated tools. thankyou for reading this, yours faithfully john

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