Every morning for the past 2 months I have taken a photograph of myself , showing that with effort, love and self care that things do get better ❤️
I have suffered with a form of anxiety for as long as I can remember but, like for many people the pandemic made it a lot worse, with every lockdown taking away the distractions I sought in normal life, I gradually forgot myself, getting lost in my own head, my own negativity, thinking and making up scenarios that would never happen, but playing them out anyway, thinking if I planned them out and they did happened I could cope with them better. But This is never the case.
It got to the point where I pushed people away, I couldn’t cope with the slightest stress and I took my frustrations out on those I love.
I never fully lived in any moment and never felt like I was there and looking back I never really was. I only lived in my head which I had made a very negative place to be, 100 positive things could happen everyday but one negative thing could ruin me for weeks.
I knew this wasn’t me but I felt lost.
After having an awakening by loosing someone I love, I knew I needed to change, and become myself again.
I didn’t realize it at the time but I had built my university project all around my anxiety and feeling the need to control every aspect of my life so I would ‘know’ the outcome, whether that be controlling what I ate , the time I did anything, all aspect of my appearance and my personality, shaping and fitting myself to be who I thought people wanted me to be, to make them happy, like me and ensure they wouldn’t leave. But obviously this didn’t work or help me in anyway.
After working on myself for several months I want to help other people too!
I am raising money for a charitable cause that is very important to me so please donate and help me reach my target in aid of the mental healthy charity Mind . Anything you can contribute towards helping me achieve my target will be massively appreciated.