I need a holiday !


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Flexible funding – this project will receive all pledges made by September 3rd 2019 at 12:39pm

Cauda Equina My life has been turned upside down.

by Rebecca Hepworth in Crowborough, England, United Kingdom

My story ,

I struggled with mental health since a very young age .   Last year I decided to do with it I sat down for six months had group therapy every week to learn how to manage my anxiety PTSD and depression in a better way. I ended the toxic relationship,  travelled to Canada with my dad for a dream that we both always had to road trip across the Rockies together September - October 2028.

Life was finally getting on track.

On my return to the UK I was struggling with a lot of lower back pain so attended the GP. I was attending on an off for three weeks visiting sometimes twice a week. During this time I was signed off work . The GP gave me tramadol and lots of other drugs to be honest it’s a blur. 

November 5th 

I attended the GP again and I had begun to lose feeling in my right foot this was kind of brushed off since I was still just managing to walk. I can’t explain the pain in my back and left Leg , no pain In right . 

Sciatica is a b**ch. 

November 8

I can’t explain the pain. I was woken in the early hours of the crushing , gut renching, explosion in back . I live alone and found myself screaming . My left leg and lower back felt like at least some sort of spasm / cramp. My dog was at my side as I called an ambulance . 

I hadn’t noticed due to the pain my right legI couldn’t feel at all . 

Paramedics arrived and was taken to trauma Unit in local hospital .  I had a consultant come and see me asked  Me to point my toes to the ceiling on both feet my right foot turned inwards towards the left. I wasn’t aware of this until the consultant pointed it out . I was then sent for an emergency MRI. I called my dad, I was scared.

 I was then sent for an emergency MRI. I called my dad, I was scared.

The MRI was complete and it showed a complete prolapse of my desk from L4 crushing the spinal-cord . I could see the panic on the doctors are nurses faces. I was told if I didn’t have the surgery I’ll be paralysed from the waist down I do have the surgery there is a chance I won’t be we had eight hours left before the spinal-cord would die. 

 Cauda equina had struck me, and it changed my life.

Emergency surgery and Kings London was completed after nine hours I began to come round. The pain has gone. I was left to rest.

 Emergency surgery in Kings London was completed after nine hours I began to come round. The pain has gone. I was left to rest.

I was then put onto a ward where the doctor quickly visited me to see how my symptoms were. Quickly came apparent that I couldn’t feel my right leg anymore . My bladder and bowel had also been affected but the sciatic pain in the left leg has gone and also my lower back. Because the surgery been so rushed they didn’t fuse my spine they just remove the disk. This means it’s bone on bone. 

Here comes the depression, after all the hard work I had put in the tears , everything .?I was back in that whole of depression.

I was then moved to my local hospital. I was born to stroke unit I was there for three months. Birthday, Christmas, New Year my dog is 21 years old , dreams of travelling and

Moving Abroad, my fitness lifestyle  all ended . 

I was then sent to Stoke Mandeville spinal rehab unit. I had previously been told to prepare myself for not being able to walk. 

I refuse to be in a wheelchair.

 Every day i was out of the chair no matter how tired I was or the pain , I was there physio, hydrotherapy Just desperate to walk . I’d  taken it it for granted for so long. 

I was discharged in June from hospital . 

I left walking with one crutch. 

My bladder and bowel is still broken and I have to deal with that daily . The numbness is still there down my right side . And I twitch allot down to the nerve damage . 

I can tell my foot is on the ground , but not between carpet and grass , if that makes sense . 

I’m attending hydro and physio twice a week . 

I’m still employed even though I will never fly as cabin crew again and trying to find a job In the company that can work for Me . 

I’ve recently been experiencing lower back pain ... this is due to not being fused / replacement disk put In . 

They’ve said they might have to go back in . 

Because Cauda Equina nerve is So delicate if they go back in they could possibly damange it .... back to stage one and really not being able To fight it .

I’m asking for a break or something to help me fund getting my body back  . Something to treat myself . 

I feel bad asking . I’m now on my £73 per week . And run out of sick pay . I receive £300 for PIP ( disabled living allowance ) a month .  My savings are disappearing quickly my rent is £500 . I just need a break from life it seems so cruel at the moment and I’m trying my best . Just feel life kicks me in the face . I’m trying to keep positive . 

My dad has been my rock but my Grandad also is sick with cancer . I feel bad asking for help since he’s so busy caring for both of us .we spent Christmas Day sat in the hospital he even had to deal with my Dog / best friend , which has been my mums passing away.

Hospital appointments , food shopping and pharmacy etc my dad is smashing it but I feel like a burden . 

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