I was really hoping I'd never have to do this.
TW for talk of rape and the criminal justice system.
In February last year, whilst living in a foreign country, I was raped in my home by two men.
Two days later, I went to the local crisis centre who took me to the hospital. There, I underwent hours of invasive testing. I spoke to countless doctors about what happened and underwent a physical examination. They took pictures of my vagina to be used as evidence.
A few days later, I was summoned to the police station to give evidence. I handed over my favourite pyjamas, the ones I'd been wearing on the night, to be used as evidence. I spoke about my ordeal in excruciating detail. I also submitted written testimony.
Soon after that, I was called back to the station to identify the men who raped me in a photo line up.
Then, in March 2019, I came back to the UK, and since then I had heard nothing about my case.
Until today, when I received an email from my pro-bono lawyer. She told me that:
"After carrying out all the investigations, has submitted a request for dismissal for the crime of sexual violence"
"In order to understand the reason for this decision, a copy of the file must be requested."
To get copies, I must pay £600 "for the request for a copy of the deeds".
I don't have £600. I currently exist on Universal Credit, as the trauma of the last year has left me unable to hold down a job.
But I won't be able to live with myself if I don't pursue this. Not necessarily for me, but for any other women that those men may have already assaulted, or may assault in the future.
I don't know what will happen after I get the document copies. But I need to know that I tried.
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Thank you for reading this far. It means the world.