Help me man up!
Hello! I’m Richy and I am a transgender man. I’ve known for a few years now and since then I have become so much more comfortable in who I am. I am finally starting to get to know myself, my place in the world and who I want to become. However, this has come at a cost. being transgender comes with a whole bucketful of very not fun things, such as gender dysphoria which is the condition of your emotional and psychological identity being different to your biological sex. It’s very difficult to look in the mirror every morning and to know, in the back on my mind and in my heart, that what I see isn’t me.. I need a little bit help to catapult me into a second puberty, so I can start living my life.
I am 21 so I have already gone through puberty once, albeit the wrong one. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) will allow me to go through the changes that I need to be happy within myself and my body by serving as a second puberty and therefore a second chance at life. It is incredibly difficult to go through life while being constantly reminded that you are not what you should be.
I feel like I’m stuck in limbo, with a massive weight around my neck. I want to move forward, to progress with my life, but I’m stuck. It’s difficult to move forward while I’m trapped in this body, waiting for puberty. Watching all my friends and family move forward, I cant help feeling left behind.
Everyone has had their name misheard by someone you’ve just met and experienced the weird awkward panic of either having to correcting them, or to let them continue to wrongfully address you to save you both that small amount of awkwardness. There is nothing wrong with the name that this person has called you, but it just simply isn’t yours, you don’t relate or respond to it. This is similar to how it feels in a social situation as a transgender person, apart from it’s not an occasional occurrence- it is a constant. It really does wear you down.
Most of what people see about being transgender is to do with the physical body, but it is also very much intertwined with how people function in day to day life and as part of society. Despite my best efforts I am almost always perceived as a woman by strangers. This creates a large disconnect between me and almost everyone I interact with. It’s difficult to get close to anyone knowing that they’re having to remind themselves that this is a man in front of them.
Along with HRT I am looking to get surgery to masculinise my chest via double mastectomy surgery. This will make me feel much more comfortable in my own body and make my life much more care free as I won’t have to worry about flattening my chest by binding it down or slouching.
HRT will have many biological effects to help me feel more comfortable in my body and help the world see me for who I am. It will help me grown facial hair and masculinise my face, as well as deepening my voice. Testosterone will also encourage my muscle to develop in a more masculine way, helping me build a body I can finally be comfortable in.
If you decide to donate, I really cannot thank you enough for helping me on my journey to becoming who I am supposed to be. Hormones and surgery will be such a catalyst for me to finally begin with my life. Even if you don’t decide to donate, I want to say thank you for giving this a read and even just considering donating.
To achieve all of this is going to cost quite a bit, hence why I’m telling you all of this in the first place. If you could donate anything at all, be it pennies or pounds, cent or dollars, it would be so incredibly appreciated. For all donations over £5 I will draw a picture for you, something like the art on my Instagram (@stompygoat).
I also do art commissions in a variety of media where all proceeds will be going towards my transition. I will also be starting up a series of T-shirt designs (coming soon). For anyone who is interested in trans issues or who wants to learn more about what it is like to live with gender dysphoria, I will be starting a podcast where I will discuss an array of issues that plague trans people in everyday life (Coming soon).