In our life we go through a lot of traumas. In day to day life we pile up those traumas and we end up suppressing them deep down in our subcontios mind.
When we try to be a bit diffrent from "normal" people, we are labbled as "wrong", "evil", "not right". so we please the people around us just to be like them. but we forget to be our selves.
types of trauma
early childwood trauma
intimate partner violance
terrorism and violance
All this traumatic expiriences lead to mental health, depression, anxities, sexual releshionship problems, self harm and so on.
while ago i was talking with a colleague at work and we where talking about the fact that i was going through a though time (self harm, depression, anxities, panic attacks..). i was then taking madications (antidepressant) and i had more sside affects from it then actual positive effects. i was sleepy 99% of the times, and i was finding difficulty of just getting up the bed.
the colleague then said "i do have the same problem", the another coleague just said "why don't you just deal with it with recreational drugs and alcohol?".
that though just made me think. so this is what sociaty tell you to do when they can't deal with a remedy.
i then been asking around me.
i've expirirence a time in the woman refuge. it was a terrifing expirience for me. i wasn't been able to get out the house for a period of nearly 1 and a half month, as my abuser was then in the same town as my rafuge.
i haven't got any mental support from staff then. i had to deal with the hope that i will get out from that house soon. how long? nobody has an answer.
so i felt unwanted all the time. i haven't got any classes as i was a "temporary" person that will leave soon the house.
i was relaying on the other women that i was staying with. but they were going through the same situation as i was going through.
but something was missing in that place. and that was mental support.
after a long one and a half month of waiting i was then been moved somewhere else, a unkown town, where i have to start everything on my own. i felt good to be free. but it lasted 2/3 days. then fear came in my shoulder. i was alone, no money, in a place where i don't have help.
i wanted to go back to my abuser.
i did went back. not beacause i was afraid of working. no. beacause i hadn't mental support.
i went back to my abuser beacouse i felt i wasn't stong anought.
i even put myself in that cage i was in again. and it took me another year to realise that i was in a cage.
How i came out from that cage? i started to rebel. I made boundaries. i became "slefish", i took care of myself first before others.
i was doing things i love. i started to go for long walks again. i statedto read again, i made new friends. i simply smiled to random people while walking. or just a "good morning", "good afternoon" was everything for me.
i made a list, a list of what my younger version of me liked to do. things that i love to do.
i started to take care of my body again, i started to made routine on everything. morniung routine, skin care routines, my child routines, food plans and so on. i started to make positive affirmations in the morning and been thankful of my beautiful day every night before bed. i then realise that i was waking up smiling and having restful nights.
i started then to do those things. filling the diary with appointments and classes.
i realise that there are free places to go. money for me was a really big issue. i alsway thought "i dont have money, how i'm going to go in those places".
but if you do a bit of research you can find places where are free or you just pay a pound or two.
so, the remedies of mental illnesses is not alcohol or ricreational drugs. but to start to love yourself and do the things you love.
my plan is to find a place where people with mental illnesses or just people that are going through a though time can go to feel themself again. I have a dream that i want to make it reality.
a place runned by volenteers where people can learn skills, or just hobbies. (once a week)
the place is a rafarence to local classes, with low cost, so everyone can afford to go to.
walking in nature groups
learn to use a musical instrument
learn to bake/cook
learn to crochet/knitting/sewing
local shops skills learning (ask local shops owner if the can give times to trach peoples of their skills)