Where do I start; well firstly I've put this off as long as possible. I've never been one for begging or asking people for help; not my strength I suppose, perhaps if I had asked for help sooner I wouldn't be in this position, but here I am. You might say I haven't exactly ever been a lucky or fortunate person, life hasn't always been its kindest. I was born into a country free of war, diseases and famine; however within the context of my life I would be considered unfortunate within my surroundings. It has taken me a long time to work to where I was in February; owing to multiple reasons. My upbringing, some of it mine own attitude and not getting a break. Suffice to say some within my control, but a whole lot that isn't within my control.
I remember growing up and watching my mother and father go hungry to feed me and my brother. Having to have oversized school shoes so they last longer. Some of this could be blamed on my father for not being all that he could be, but I remember that whatever my father tried would lead to failure, he would buy a car and 6 months later it would break down for one reason or another. As a kid you kind of let these things go by unnoticed shrug them off, but looking back on it as an adult I can see the pain he was in at nothing going his way, the dice just never falling in his favour. Which brings me round to why I am here.
In January my father died aged just over sixty from complications bought on by a chest infection. Shortly after my father I lost my relationship, by the end of January I had lost twice already, lost two big aspects of my life. Then shortly after my fathers funeral at the end of January, I lost my job. A job I worked for ten years of my life and had recently been promoted in, finally earning enough money for me to have some nice things and take care of my family. Even more needed after the passing of my father.
When my father passed he passed with £150 in his bank account, whilst this put immense pressure on myself; I was financially able to cope with it given my job. When I no longer had the job, this became tough. I had some savings put aside but they have now depleted and the job market is contracting daily. I barely sleep or eat any more due to the stress of not being able to help them in the way they helped me in the past. I don't know if next month we will be homeless or have to make a choice whether to eat or not. Coronavirus has completely devastated a lot of lives and left those behind who have to deal with this decreasingly hopeless world.
The idea of writing this honestly makes me feel a little sick, not only has my life come to this point, but I am having to do something that goes against every fibre of my being. I know there is nothing wrong with asking for help but I have never been one to do so, I fight my own battles and take care of myself and those I care about. I'm not sure I can offer you much, past my gratitude and thanks for even reading this and getting this far. If everyone just reads this and maybe doesn't leave anything here, perhaps you can check on that neighbour or friend you haven't heard from and make sure they have enough to eat or aren't stressed about bills etc....
I am happy to answer any other questions anyone might have, I have tried to keep this short as possible and am aware I may have left somethings out.