Dearest friends,
As many of you already know my Step Dad Paul passed away on April 8th. Paul was only 63 years old and as fit as a fiddle!.
Needless to say the news of how serious his condition was came as a total shock to everyone. (I brought him back a donut from Toronto thinking upon my arrival he would be sat up in bed ready to eat it!) The day he was taken into hospital Paul was complaining of a pain in his head, vertigo and nausea, the doctors scrambled to weigh up his symptoms against the most likely of culprits, after hours and hours of meeting with different consultants Paul lost consciousness.
The last CT finally revealed a stroke in the rear cerebellar and he was transferred to hope hospital for emergency brain surgery. The surgeon fitted Paul with a drain and removed some of the damaged brain. We waited anxiously and prayed ferociously to any and all gods that would listen.
We held his hands, played his favourite music, kissed him a lot, told him we loved him and recounted regular stories of the day, including everyone’s support coming in from all over the world. The ICU is a place unlike any other in the hospital, and after 48 hours by his bedside the constant sounds of his breathing machines and beeps became strangely comforting.
I comforted my Mum the best way I knew how, reminding her that if anyone was pulling through this it was Paul and I felt strongly about miracles and backed up my faith by reading stories online about people pulling though even after 16 years! There is a room in the ICU waiting area called the "interview" room, we walked passed it a lot and were happy we hadn't been called in there yet. At Paul’s bedside we talked to our nurse and waited for the Stroke consultant to come and give us a progress report, the nurse walked us to the "interview" room and offered us tea. 20 mins later the miracle we had been praying for disappeared out of reach. The Dr. informed us that Paul wasn't going to wake up and the stroke he suffered was a very rare type of stroke, one that he has only seen 3 times during his whole career and we should start his end of life plan.
Something strange happens to you in shock and in grief, a blur comes over your actions, your feel like you are awake in a dream, unable to separate fact from fiction, but you go from point a to b to c to d in this state of perpetual motion. I believe that motion is a force that comes from love. No pain in the heart can exist without it, so in the end love is the answer.
Paul asked Mum to not leave him before he slipped into his coma, she didn't. She held him as he took his last breath, this was done out of pure love. To honour Paul. His funeral is happening next week and we want his story to be a celebration of his life and who he was. So the story of Paul will be a love story, not a "stroke" story. Paul became a grandfather 8 months ago for the first time, it was easy to see how much he loved Zac, and he was looking forward to being there for him in every way.
Many of those ways are impossible now; although he will have his very own "Guardian of the Galaxy" I thought it would be an amazing idea to set up a trust for Zac in Paul’s memory. Many people have asked about contributions and where to send flowers to, so on behalf of Paul and his family please help his dreams of supporting his grandsons' education come true and "love it forward"
Please note. Donations collected on this page will be held in a trust for Zacs future education.