Hi everyone! This picture was taken in one of the times i am "allowed" to spend 6 hours in the community with my son. This picture was finally a reality after I've gone through the following:
I'm a single father in need of some support to help me concluding the ongoing legal battle for shared care and custody of my 2 year old son who was abducted from UK to Poland on December 2019 (he was 5 months old at the time).
UK's legislation does state i should not have to pay for any legal representation costs and my income would not be taken in to account but unfortunately every law firm i turned to kept telling me "we've changed our views when it comes to free legal representation... so on and so forth bollocks"
I've sold personal assets and company shares i owned, I've borrowed money from family and friends, I've saved as much as i could and managed to fund legal representation in the country where he was being "unlawfully retained". I won the case 3 times over (due to appeals)
My son was ordered to return to UK on October 2020. Since then I have managed to get prohibited steps order in place with alerts in all ports, airports and borders, I've submitted myself through the wills of CAFCASS, I've had to literally pay to see my son few hours a week (about £600/£700 every month) under supervised session which i flew through with flying colours....
I had a deduction of earnings order issued by child maintenance services under the argument of not providing any overnight care, contact centre expenses were totally ignored and never taken in to consideration even though the recorded call by them clearly shows they've insisted it was taken in to consideration they claim the person was misinformed and therefore not accurate.... however regardless of this bullshit as I've explained that I'm not providing any overnight care not because i do not want to but because I'm fighting for a shared care and custody of my son.... somehow I've ploughed through.
I've been accused of rape, assault, coercive behaviour, posing a danger to my son and his mum, neglecting my son among many other things..... I've always proved to be fabricated and in fact i provided strong evidence that i was the one that had been physically, emotionally and mentally abused but I've never reported it as i grew up the "old fashioned" with the typical "men don't cry" sort of thing.
I had not seen my son between the age of 5 months and 16 months however during the time he was being unlawfully retained i somehow made use of my imagination and managed to stay in his mind through very short, very limited and always interrupted/controlled video call sessions.
In the first supervised contact session at the contact centre people were amazed with how my son did not even flinch or felt awkward or insecure when he saw me after such long break.....
I've been representing myself since his return to UK as i had to choose between affording contact centre and see my son or a solicitor. I've caught the law firm I'm up against lying on 2 or 3 separate occasions....i wish to pursue and charge them with libel/contempt at a later time.
With all this i just would like to see something changing in the world as theoretically "help" is across the board and we live with equal rights but the reality is far from this.
It is depressing and heartbreaking that a man has to go through all this without any help and the only support we get is someone calling once a week to check on us and give us info that they've Googled as they speak to you.
No housing support, no legal aid, no local MP support, nothing..... we're men and we're supposed to stand our ground. I have chosen to make my son proud of me when he grows up and realises my perseverance in my efforts allowed me to do my job as a father and not become a "beat up dad just on paper"....(a.k.a: "sperm donor"). I had to choose between putting down a deposit for a place or make my son proud of his dad; i took the plunge.
The system is more lenient towards women, as men we're expected to shut up and accept even though we did absolutely nothing wrong. We're overlooked and the more i plough through the more i understand other men out there who decide to go self employed and declare little to if any earnings. It's sad and appaling that we as men have to ensure these things when the evidence is clear and only to hear from the court and Cafcass: "children under the age of 4 have no notion of time so we suggest that 2 nights a week and father should move house to a bigger place by then."
As men, every father is also expected to support himself, legal costs, contact centre costs (been told there are no funds available from the court and there is no welfare to support contact centre costs).... work, get out of debt, keep up with living costs, provide everything needed for such young child and yet avoid getting in to further debt only because the mother claims benefits, is given free housing, free child support among other things (whilst working cash on hand and getting child maintenance deducted from me directly).
I've gone through depression, I'm still on prescribed tablets, I've been arrested several times under false allegations made by the mother of my son and every single time has been when she's been around my residential area and not the other way around. She goes to the extreme lengths of coming all the way across town (5/6 miles) to deliberately do shopping within walking distance around my house. (There's about 20 polish shops, 5 petrol stations, countless nail and hair salons, town centre, diy shops, so on and so forth in between these miles...) only to then call the police when she sees me on the street and claim I've threatened to kill her or cause harm or damage her property. Luckily 2 of those times the police attended to the local shop i regularly go to as that's where she saw me... the shop keepers and workers stood by my side and offered cctv footage from the shop as evidence that i did absolutely nothing!
How much more one has to endure? I'm lost, I'm down, I'm in debt and totally rock bottom but I am still ploughing to make my son smiling. I'm due to pick him up at 10:00 today (as writing this) and will be dropping him back at 16:00.
I also have a daughter from a previous relationship and i have an excellent friendship and communication with her mum. In fact her mum wrote a letter and made a statement about me, our relationship when we were together and how we get along nowadays ever since separation.... it was that same statement that had a massive weight in discrediting all allegations fabricated against me. Our daughter is 11. And she's a little genius and has been my rock too. She saw me getting arrested at home in one of the situations i said above and i returned home the very same day (few hours later) with "no further action" and "no bail conditions" one more time.
Every single word I'm saying i can prove and back it up with documented evidence.
Talking about being a dad hey?