The photograph on my page was taken in 2005 , we had flew to Rome to plan our wedding.
In 2005 everything was normal in our lives . We both had good jobs , a brilliant group of friends , a social calendar that would make you tired to read it and of course the most beautiful daughter.
I worked full time back then after work I would hit the gym , Saturdays I would take Tink ( Our daughter) to the gym with me and we would spend hours in the pool just enjoying life .
I always had tummy problems which my Dr told me was IBS at 16 and I would have to take Gaviscon for the rest of my life !!!
I suppose looking back there was signs . I was getting lots of little bugs , sore throats , ear infection which spread , infection after having wisdom teeth out but I worked through them .
I would get Laryngitis when I was tired and stressed and it started getting so bad that I had to take time off work . The infections started taking longer to get over . Then after years of testing they found out that I had Endometriosis, so having that treated finally was huge . After the operation to help with the Endometriosis I couldn't shake the tiredness, it didn't feel like normal tiredness .
I would go to bed exhausted and wake up the next morning exhausted. Walking hurt at times it felt like I was carrying a horse on my back . I started getting confused which brought on panic attacks . That was really hard to take because I have always been a very confident person .
I remember sitting in work and a person walked over , now this was a person I had worked with for 3 years , we spoke every day yet as he was walking towards me I couldn't remember his name now I know everyone forgets things but this didn't feel the same it wasn't just oh it will come to me .
The exhaustion, pain , Anxiety and confusion became my life . I knew it was game over when I was driving home from work and fell asleep at the wheel. I must have only closed my eyes for a second but hitting the rumble strip at the side of the motorway really scared me . I couldn't control the tiredness . I can't put that feeling of exhaustion into words but if you have ever had a general anaesthetic the bit where they ask you to count back from 10 , of course you never get to 10 you are always well out. That feeling of tiredness that you can't stop and when you are tired nothing will keep you awake .
I now spend almost every hour of every single day in my bedroom , 95% of that time I am asleep .
I rely on My Husband and Daughter to care for me in everything. They dress me , help me walk on a good day and push my wheelchair any other day .
I hate feeling like a burden , I hate being reliant on someone to take me to the bathroom.
More than anything I want to go out to the woods or down the beach with My Furbaby . Alfie is my Guardian Angel with a furry coat , Alfie is a 10mth old Black Labrador and if laughter made you rich then Alfie would make me a fortune.
He cuddles me when I am having a bad day and he will come over and lick my fingers or the side of my face . He understands that I can't do much with him but the days I can throw his ball off my bed for him to go fetch are his best days . He loves me and accepts me .
I don't want much . I just want a little independence, a chance to get out on my own .
I want to be able to hold my husbands hand again as we walk (roll in my case ) down the beach or the promenade Southport.
My Daughter, My Husband, My furbaby Alfie and me out together as a family .
I am not strong enough to self propel a wheelchair on my own so my only chance of independence is a motorised wheelchair and they are not cheap . That's where you come in . If I can raise the bulk of it on here then I will add the rest , I'll empty the penny jar , have a car boot sale . I will do whatever it takes , I just really need help .
If you can spare anything at all then I would be so grateful. You really would be making a huge difference to my life and I would be eternally grateful x
With love ,
I have a self propel chair that we bought when I first took ill and as my way of paying it forward I would donate the chair to a worthy cause x