My Husband has been diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) He is 44 loves life and is a good hardworking kind man. Infact he was donating a Kidney as a live donar before he got ill just because he wanted to help!!
WHAT IS BPD?
BPD is a serious and long lasting and complex mental health problem. People with BPD have difficulty regulating or handling their emotions or controlling their impulses. They are highly sensitive to what is going on around them and react with intense emotions to small changes in their environment.
WHAT CAUSES BPD?
As with other Mental health disorders, the current understanding of BPD is that a person's genetic inheritance, biology and environmental experiences all contribute to the development of BPD.
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS -
The types and severity of BPD symtoms may differ from person to person and symtoms can fluctuate over time
Common Symptoms -
1. Intense but short lived bouts of anger, depression or anxiety
2. Emptiness associated with loneliness and neediness
3. Paranoid Thoughts
4. Impulsive and harmful behaviours such as suicidal thoughts, attempts ( 7 in 10 with BPD attempt Suicide & 1 in 10 with BPD will die by suicide)
5. Self harm
6. Volatile and stormy interpersonal relationships
TREATMENT! (This is the key)
Medication helps mood swings and co-morbid disorders but DOES NOT TREAT BPD!
Psychotherapy is the ONLY PROVEN METHOD to treating this disorder (DBT - Dialectical Behavioural Therapy)
Long term, intensive therapy is required in order to achieve substantial recovery
BPD is an often misunderstood serious mental illness that creates significant emotional instability
Matthew NEEDS to have DBT! So why am I here now?
Basically he is on a waiting list and has been for a couple of months in which time he has self harmed several times and still does not know how to control his emotions. The waiting list is Long...too long!
We have the diagnosis and we know what he needs, I have purchased books to learn what I can to try and help but its not enough.
Friends suggested that I set up a Page to raise money for private treatment but I couldnt do it , I felt like I was begging...
I got thinking and reading online what I can do and as there are no support groups for the person with BPD or the families I am firstly trying to set one up in Cornwall. If I get 4/5 people I can get a Grant to help with this.
Then I saw that I can take a DBT course which costs £190 and takes upto 6 months to complete (Less time than the waiting list for it!!) Which means that I will be able to do the following -
- I will have understanding of what DBT is
- I will be able to create Validating environments (environments that make people feel good very important for those with BPD)
- I will be able to validate other people (to have them feel as though I am on the same wavelength as them)
- I will be able to quickly help people see things differently
- I will be able to help people solve problems
- I will be able to respond to people who have just done very severe behaviours in a way which is caring yet doe NOT reinforce the severe behaviour
- I will be able to help people bring some sense of order and predictability to emotions
- I will be able to help others to tolerate distress much better. Not to allow distress to get into a vicious spiral
- I will be able to order competing priorities amongst several top priorioties
And I will have taken steps towards being able to help my husband while we wait hopefully biding him more time and reducing any suicidal thoughts or self harm episodes allowing him to continue to work and live a normal life as he can.
Then my plan is to be able to help others ( Not proffesioanllly or for money obviously) just to offer support as It is hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever had to endure so being able to help others when I could not get help for my husband or me has made me determined.
Even if I can only offer support in between while people wait it could be the difference between life and death!
Also looking further forward, if others are able to also help then maybe this can be a support network further than just cornwall. Lets get more people in the know!
This is a serious condition one that the person with BPD will not get over instead with therapy they learn different ways to cope and live a happier life. There isn't a guarntee that it works as everyone is different but so far it is the only thing to help yet it is not widley available and where it is available the wait is long...too long
As its Mental Health Awareness Week I thought now is the time to ask for help.....As hard as that is for me
I would pay for this myself the only problem is that with Matthew being off work for 3 months we have no spare money as £88.95 SSP dosnt really get you far these days sadly. Thankfully I have a good job thats kept the roof over our heads! So we are far luckier than many I know that...
I would not ask if I didnt think I could help others too. I hope you all know that I am not begging....just asking for support to support my husband...and then others too.
I need 190 people to donate £1 each thats all it will take and I will be forever grateful :)
No one knows when their mental health can suffer. We all need to get our heads together and talk thats very true
BUT what is needed is the support when people do get the courage to ask.....waiting for therapy comes at a cost, a cost that is too high....I am not prepared to sit back and wait.
Thank you for your support
P.S There is No Reward that I can offer ONLY my gratitude and knowing that you have helped make a difference xxx