Hello everyone out there on this platform my name is Shazia and I live in London. I am facing extreme difficulty at this point in my life.
I have been married since 4 years and my marriage was one of the most difficult step in my life my husband is from a different country and my parents didn't allow it and I had to persuade them which was very hard because the family which I belong to expect me to marry someone from their choice. Finally they accepted it after months of fighting.
I was working at the time and everything was going well and we both were spending quality time together. My husband was studying and I was working full time.
But then one day out of nowhere I fell into depression and I couldn't speak to anyone about it I couldn't even go to work and I had to call in sick. I didn't leave the house I just used to sit and stare at the walls most of the time I was blank. I would sometimes cut my wrists to give myself pain because I felt i deserved it and this was my punishment this lasted very long I ended up taking 9 months of work after the my company sacked me as I was off work for so long. During this time I also developed an eating disorder which was horrific I lost so much weight that my body was just bones I was so weak and couldn't do anything. I don't want to write about it I still cant handle the pain it caused.
One day I was watching tv and I saw a mouse and I contacted the estate agent but they did nothing by the next day there was 9 mouses running around all over the flat on kitchen work tops. I was scared and didn't want to stay there but had no where to go.I had to shift the toaster kettle and microwave into my room only place the mouses didn't go and we went days without eating as we didn't have any money. I cant express what life was like just writing about it makes me want to cry so much.
I did then start to go to counselling but that never helped. Since I lost my job I was unable to pay for rent and other bills, weeks turned into months and payments were not made. Then the landlady said she will kick us out and I pleaded with her that I have nowhere to go but she went to court anyway. Then we had a letter saying that bailiffs will come if we don't leave the flat. I was scared and frightened I had no friends and my family wasn't happy with me so I couldn't go them because they wouldn't keep me
I tried to claim housing benefit or job seekers but they said I'm not eligible and I cant claim. I even called the homeless shelter but they let me down so I was almost on the streets. Having all this pressure of finance and losing my job and already I was depressed I tried to commit suicide and jump into the river at least twice but I was stopped by some bystanders which was there.
Then I had to beg my parents to let me stay in their house and they finally agreed but they hated my husband and my brother used to make remarks about him and there was daily fights that we had to put up with. They gave us one little box room and a mattress to sleep on no cupboards nothing but at least we was not on the streets but it was torture I cant express it into words it was horrible and this made me more depressed. Then I went to doctors they gave antidepressants which seemed to work about 5% not much.
My family started to emotionally blackmail me and start interfering in my life and telling me that my husband is not nice and he should go back to his country and I can do much better but to me he is the love of my love and by them saying this I was getting very disturbed.
Then after that we had been staying at my parents home and still we got letters and phone calls from debt collector asking for money and they called us numerous times during the day and this effected my health in a very bad way. We have no support and no one to turn to.
After suffering for 4 years in financial stress and being depressed we received another bad news because I had lost my job and had no money my husbands visa was refused and the home office told my husband he has to leave within in two weeks time. I am British but how can I stay here without my husband so I have to go with him.
We need money so we can start to live our life in another country where both me and my husband can be together.
I request all of you lovely people to please help us as much as you can. I believe that there are many kind people in this world just because my experience has been terrible I still have faith in humanity PLEASE HELP US
I would like to say thank you for taking your time to read my story.